In Love to Hurt
by ALOVETOKILL
Summary: Due to some kind of dramatic event, Misaki will be force to marry Iijun. Akihiko desperately uncover Misaki's killer and Haruhiko with the same roof as him... Will Takahiro will reach his breaking point?...    Grammar issue and OCness...:P
1. Chapter 1

**Note : I do not own Junjou Romantica. **

**In love To Hurt**

_**"I dont know if i should call it tragedy or luck but i dont feel any regret for loving you so much that i think im going crazy."**_

**On my way home after school and saw our apartment slowly burning, the first thing that comes in my mind is to save my brother's belongings inside the house though i only save some of his clothes and personal things. I dont even hear my neighbor shouting at me as i rush inside the house without thinking how risky it was but im glad im okay thanks to some guy who rescues me when i was trapped inside. All my belongings are all burnt after the fire. I dont even save any single of piece my things but im so proud i save some of my brother's belongings.**

**Now I watch our apartment slowly vanish, slowly turning into dust and slowly recalling all my happy memories with my brother, a place where he gently raised me when our parent died long time ago. I dont know what happened why it burnt but i feel so bad that i dont think i could move on. There is one precious thing inside the apartment that holds dearly inside my heart, things that can't be replaced by anything in this world. Things that even my beloved brother did not know that i have owned property. I could have saved it for the last minute but the fire, and smoke was getting worse by second and i was traped inside. I might even faint and die inside if not of some guy who bravely save me.**

**I dont know if i should be gratefull or not.**

**For my life to be saved.**

**"Are you okey kid?"**

**I glance up at the woman whom i never noticed is standing besides me between the crowd of people.**

**" You look like your hurt****and ... shivering" she said with a worried look.**

**I hug myself to stop from shivering as if im cold. My tears are starting to fall and i cant****stop it no matter how many times i wipe it away with my hand." I-Im okey,... thank ...you..." I feel my feets starting to hurt and my knees are like melting. I feel so hopelessly weak.**

**"Do you need something?" She asks**

**She hit me on the spot.**

**I dont want to cause any trouble to anyone who dont even know me...**

**I dont want to be selfish. I dont want ask something very selfish request to anybody even if I really do need that something right now... .. something people like me normally called...**

**"MISAKI !"**

**Comfort**

**"Usagi-san"**

"**MISAKI!" **

** Behind me a familiar voice resound the place. I feel scruple to look behind me. **

** "Usagi-san…." **

** Shaken, do not know what to do, my heart is trembling as I slowly utter the name of the only person who can make me feel something that I never felt before. Something I cant even name no matter how many times I tried to find its name. I look behind me slowly, afraid that I might be wrong and end hurting more. **

** The great Usami Akihiko standing in front of me looks terrible. Crumple white sleeves and messy hair. A dark circle under his eyes make him look more horrible while his panting but what catches my attention more is his worried face. Like something very important in his life is about to vanished. If it is so, who is it? **

**Is it me? **

**Or **

**My brother. **

** Without a warning he throws his arms around me. Hugging me tightly and making me feel awkwardly conscious. My body stiffens by his touch, his smells making me feel dizzy, and the thump of his heart is deafening, and makes me forget about the noise around us. "Usagi-san" I breathe is name hoping it will decrease the tension building inside me. I could feel his big hands gently stocking my hair. **

**"Thank God your okay, Misaki" He said with a low and husky voice. I ****don't ****know if he noticed but my heart skip beat when he said those words to me. I feel my warm tears flowing through my chicks**_**. It feels so warm inside his big and tight hug, so warm enough to make my heart melt with the feelings that never in my life that I felt before. It's so frustrating, not knowing what **__**it is.**_

**"Usagi-san." I cried his name seeking more of his comfort. Not worrying about wetting his chest with my tears. I feel so bad about the house and my things but right now **_**I could **__**bare **__**any pain if it means to be this close to him. **__  
><em>  
><strong>"Misaki are you okay?" Akihiko pulled away to look at me, even if I want to protest and pulled closer again I force my self to stop because I <strong>**don't ****want him to feel any weird feelings for me, more like I ****don't ****want to trouble him. **

** I simply nodded and bow my head to hide my tears from him but he ****lift up ****my chin with the thumb of his hand making me face him. " Baka! ****Don't ****do that." Its so embarrassing I pull away and turn my back but he stop me holding my both of my arms. "Ouch!" I wince in pain. He immediately releases my arms and notices the burn skin in my left arm. **

**" sorry I ****don't ****know your hurt like this" he said and curse in regret but without warning he hold my hand where he thought the safest place to hold but again I wince in pain. I hid my hand and try to look fine. **

**"****I'm ****fine ****don't ****worry." I said but I failed to make him believed me. He looks at me like his disappointed. I ****don't ****why he looked like that but I don't ****know how to react to him. **

**" lets go to my place." He said and walked ****straight ****to where his sports car was parked without looking at me. Leaving me feel bothered by his sudden actions. I slowly followed him.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**Why?**

**Why the sudden change of mood? He doesn't even look at me he just silently drove the car until we get to his pent house. If there is one thing that makes me thinks his an idiot is his personality. After he parks the car he carries my niichan's ****clothe.****We continue our way to the elevator. I feel very awkward of his silence. He is making me feel like I did something wrong back there but the excitement and nostalgic feelings of seeing the pent house again is occupying my mind. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** I lived with him for almost a year but I was force to move back with my niichan house when his wife Manami-onesan was accidentally hit by a truck on her way home three months ago. Niichan was grieving almost making him risk his life, but when Usagi-san talked to him, comforted him, slowly, day by day, he began to move on. Thanks to Usagi-san's unending love for my brother. I am thankful for him but I dont want it and I know it's selfish but …. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"Misaki where here" ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**the strong and nameless feeling that confuses me every time I saw him and niichan together is…. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"Misaki?" ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**driving me to my limits. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** Without me noticing, the elevator door was opened and Usagi-san is standing in front of me who's obviously on his way to his place but stopped because of my sudden gawk but a strong and big hand rested above my head brings back my senses. I don't know how many times I blinked my eyes before I looked above him. Watching him in great surprised, he smiled. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"Everything's will be alright now that you're here with me, Misaki. So please trust me. I'll protect you no matter what" he confidently yet gently said. Does this guy knows what he said is so offensive? But somehow deep inside me is drown by his words ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"Well thank you but I can take good care of my self that's why im alive right now." I said while blushing hardly. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"Then bring yourself unharmed!" he said this time with a very superior voice making me fell silent, making us fell silent. I don't know what to say right now and I know his right, im reckless. I shouldn't risk my life to save some of our things but, I just can't stop my self to do what I thought would be best to do at that moment. "Let's treat your wound" he said in a very low voice. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** I let my self dragged by him until we get inside his house. I looked around me and glad that nothing changes. The smell of the house and the feelings of my foot in the floor is all making me feel like I'm home. I sat on the couch as he looked for his medicine kit in the bathroom. I lean against the couch feeling the familiar softness of it. I relaxed my back and close my eyes. Trying to get rid the thoughts for loss our apartment and my precious thing that I've been keeping for almost three years. I still felt badly about it so much that I felt I'm not in my usual self right now. I think about my niichan who might be the most affected to what happened. I feel badly for him. Thought of him and our problem right know busied my head until without me wanting it, I fall asleep.**

**A sudden shock of pain woke me up. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"sorry" Usagi-san apologizes immediately. His holding the ointments while holding my injured arm. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"I'm ****okay it's ****only a mild burn" I said. He continued to aid me I tried my self not to hiss in pain, even if it's only a mild burn, the burn skin is large it almost covered my entire arms. I could feel his gentle touch in my skin that's makes my face blushed. After aiding my arms he moved next to my hand. His cold hand feels so good ****to mine as ****he carefully put some ointment to the burn part. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** He finished aiding my burn skin but he still holds my hand. I want to pull away but I just can't. I like the feeling of his touch. But this is weird! ****  
><strong>**  
>This is not what I supposed to feel! I'm a man. "Ah, great Usami sensei my hand please." <strong>**  
><strong>**  
><strong>** He looked at me. "why?" ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** Idiot Usami!. Don't know what humiliation is. "Let go of my hand please" I said but instead he pulled my hand closes to his mouth kissing and biting the back of my hand. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"W-what are you doing?" I gasp as he start licking. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"Aiding you" he said. He put my index finger to his heated mouth. He began sucking it causing me to close my eyes in pleasure "Aah!" ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**He pulled away. "do you want more, Misaki?" he asked with a husky voice of lust. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"Idiot!" I pulled my hand forcedly as I felt my small hairs in my arms are standing in pleasure. He chuckled as he watch me blushed like a teenage girl. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**He pisses me off. It's unbelievably embarrassing. He never does this when I lived with him. So why? Is it for fun? ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**DAMN AKIHIKO USAMI! ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**I grabbed one of his books lying besides me to throw it right to his perverted face but the picture catches my attention.**

**The title: Innocent Sexboy **

**But what makes him blushed like scarlet is the characters. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** "Since when are you writing this crap AKIHIKO?" I ask. Trying to control my voice not to shout while reading the content of the book. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** "Since you left me" he said in his normal tone of voice. He lighted a stick of cigarette. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** "why? Do you, happens to have grudge on me ?" ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** "no, it's because I miss you" ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** "oh really? ****That's ****good for you. BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF CRAP RUINING MY INNOCENCE! BAKA****USAGI!"**

**I tore the book and throw it in a trash bin causing a loud thud. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** I winced in pain. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** "baka,****don't****hurt your self" he said, blaming my actions. "do you want my aid again ****Misaki?" ****he asks in very sadistic tone. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** No thank you. I pulled my self together and face the perverted man smirking at me. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** "I hate you" I said. Looking at his lavender eyes. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** "I will make you hate me more then." He challenges me with a smile that shows interests. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** We glare to****one another ****until a very loud telephone ring broke our cold war.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Both of us stare at the telephone that broke the reigning silence inside his wide living room.**

**I wait for him to pick up the phone but instead he lighted another cigarette after crushing the cigarette stub. I frowned and decided to pick it up since I always do it when I lived with him before….**

**….yeah when I live with him before he doesn't smoke like this… and he doesn't seem to remember his promised three years ago...**

**Does three years are strong enough to brake the promised he made with me?**

"**Hello?" I asked when I picked up the phone. I know I sounded not right but can't make my self to ignore the bitterness that I feel right now.**

**"Misaki!" its niichan voice in other line.**

**"Niichan!"**

**"Misaki are you alright? I'm so sorry I left you alone. Are you hurt? You must be very scared right now. I'm sorry I'm not right there in times like this," he said in regretted tone. Just as I thought he must be worried about me all this time.**

**"I will be right there as soon as possible Misaki so don't worry okay? Niichan loves you so much so forgive me if -**

**"Niichan!" I cut his bubbling. I heard him sigh in the other line. "I'm okay. Nothings bad happened to me so don't worry about me and ….. Please don't treat me like a child who would rush things out."**

**"Ha!" Usagi-san who's silently standing next to me makes a very sarcastic tone. I glared at him but I know I did act like a child. I just don't want to worry niichan more so I lied to him,.**

**"Sorry Misaki," he apologizes again.**

**"Really, it's okay. I'm with Usagi-san so nothings bad happen to me again" maybe. I frowned.**

**"Oh! Yes, Right I must thank him." he said in a very bright tone.**

**"Eh?" puzzled**

**"I called him to go after you when I heard the news to our neighbor's daughter. Her mother called her when the fire started and we happened to bumped to each other, so ….."**

**What? The rest of his words don't reach my mind because the feeling inside me is over whelming and it feels like I'm being torn. It almost feels like … like a… a pain, and its more painful than the pain I had when my parents died long ago…but…**

**Why? Why do I feel like this when niichan and Usagi-san are together and why do I'm feeling it again?**  
><strong>I'm so confuse.<strong>

**"misaki?" I heard niichan's voice in the other line…I realized that I was keeping silent for almost a minute.**

**"R-really, that's great, he he" I tried so hard to sounds like my usual self..**

**"Can you put him on the pho-?" he hasn't finished his line when I shoved the phone to Usagi-san almost hitting his face. "Niichan wants to talk to you." I'm looking into my feet…. avoiding an eye contact to him ….. Afraid that he might saw the pained look on my face…I feel him hesitated but when he get the phone I walked to give them some privacies like I always do when they talked to the phone. It's not that I don't want them to hear in fact I really…really….really want to listen even if it's wrong but niichan and Usagi-san wants me to leave. .**

**. .**

**Leaving me feeling lonely while watching them in a distance… **

**Usagi-san called me when I turned my back from him. "Misaki, where a-"**

**"Water" I said.**

"**kay" He simply nodded. "oi….Takahiro, .****. .****. .****. . . " he starts to talk niichan. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** Before walking to the kitchen sink I glance to him. Watching his strong yet wide back from behind I started to feel my heart heavies. So it's niichan who told Usagi-san to find me. It's because of niichan that Usagi-san is here looking all worried for me and taking good care of me, all the time, it's always been niichan****. .****. niichan.****. .****.I even start hating niichan. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**But still… ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** If he hadn't call Usagi-san. If he never meets niichan, will he still care for me? Will he still look for me, being worried for me? ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**Will I become someone so special for Usagi-san like niichan? ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** I want to ask him but I'm afraid. My hate, my pain and frustration are keeping my voice out… making my body cold as ice, making me loose my self. And I hate it. I hate being this way this.**

****"U-Usagi-san?" I called fisting both side of my hands but I sounded like I force my self to call him. ****

******"Misaki?" he asks trying to looks at my face which for my own well is looking at my feet. I don't want him to notice the flushed face I had. I'm so nervous I opened my mouth to talk but no sound came out. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"Misaki? What's wrong?" ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>** Usagi-san sounded like his worried. He takes a step towards me which makes me my heart tremble. "U-Usagi-san.." ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"what is it Misaki?" he asked with a very gentle voice. "tell me" he commanded… he stop in front of me putting his big hand above me. Making me feels comfortable to his presence. Giving me a courage to tell him what I want to know badly. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**I close my eyes as hard as I could, fist at the hem of my shirt, almost ruining it. "I-I want… I..I..to…" but I just swallowed my own words when I looked into his eyes. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**His eyes are full of anticipations; I could almost saw the shimmering light of hope but why? ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**What is he expecting me to do? What I saw is true or just me who's imagining it… ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**"I – I want … to … borrow your clothes" the words came out to my mouth without thinking about it. I was distracted and I don't know what to think anymore to understand the situation I am in… ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**For the second Usagi-san looks like his disappointed but he still smile gently and nodded before he goes up the stairs case without looking at me. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**I just slowly followed him by my eyes full of certain confusions. Making me remember the passed and everything he did to me that deeply carved in my heart. ****  
><strong>**  
><strong>**Do I really hate Usagi-san?**

* * *

><p><strong>Okay… please review. Thanks for reading.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**note: i do not own junjou romantica**

**Chapter Four**

**Do I really hate Usage-san?**

**I hate him for making me feel this kind of feelings. I hate him for making me hate niichan but… one thing that makes me hate him most is… even I if I hate him I still want to be with him, be close to him… closer than niichan…even if it hurts...**

**"Bakausagi" I whisper. Is this kind of feelings are normal?**

**I know his feelings for niichan. I know that he loves him so much enough to keep it to himself because he doesn't want to loose him and it pains me, it pains me because Usagi-san is in pain. If niichan knew about his feelings will he accept him? Will they be together right now? Will I still feel this way? I don't know why but If it is so…**

**I may not able to accept it…even if it sounds very selfish.**

**I sat back into the couch waiting for him to come back. The place still looks fine but the books are every where, all of them are his BL novels. I started to pick them up and neatly file them in the table in front the couch. It's has been three months since I left the place, I still remember clearly every corner of the house. The almost one year of leaving here makes difficult feelings for me when I have to leave the place for niichan. This house holds lots memories of me and Usagi-san.**

**I carried the books to my uninjured arms and started to head up stairs. If niichan saw this craps, Usagi-san might be in trouble. I wonder when he will stop writing those perverted things, and the worst case is this time his using my name to his perverted work, he never does it when I lived with him but I know his using niichan's name before. I don't really mind it since I can't change anythings even if I wined and squawked at him all the time, he will just ignored me and makes lots of excuses that beyond my imaginations and I know I'm just tiring myself, because in arguments, he always been the winner. I reach his room and I'm about to knock his door but I hesitated.**

**But wait… … … wait… why am I so work up over this kind of shit! He is just a damn perverted rabbit who deserve to be hated by niichan for ruining our names. Truly, he is dangerous person I ever met. He is a devil in disguise. I may not be able to admit it properly but he, in fact, devours me, in my mind and in my heart.**

**Enough that I don't think I still owned my body.**

**I blush.**

**"THIS IS ALL BAKAUSAGI'S FAULTS!" I kick the door of his room, making a loud 'thud!' I breathe heavily because of frustrations. I feel like a mushy mushroom being heated in a fire of woods.**

**"What are you doing?" Usagi-san asks suddenly from behind me. Making me jump like a street cat busted.**

**"Usagi-san!" I turn to looks at him. "COCKROACHKICKTHEDOORWHENISAW!"**

**"You never change," he said while laughing "but I'm glad, you're still the Misaki I know" he said while looking so relieved. He's holding a piece of clothes. "But I like the Misaki who seek for my comforts like you did earlier" he looks at me directly to my eyes making him feels like his seriously said it. I blushed. I don't how many times I blushed in front of him but I wonder, how can a guy like him makes me blushed uncontrollably like this. **

**Curse him!**

**"Idiot!" I bent down to pick the books, avoiding his gaze, "will you stop putting these lewd books anywhere you like. If niichan saw this craps, he'll definitely get disgusted, you don't want to loose him even as a friend, don't you?"**

**I said it! I finally bring the topic in front of him!**

**The almost a year of living with him, I never brought the topic about him and niichan even after my niichan birthday, the cold and snowy night where we cried over his long and pitiful unrequited love for niichan, I remained silent until now. Even though there are plenty of things I want to ask about his love for niichan, even if I want to know it so badly but thinking that it might trouble him I remained silent.**

**Maybe, a year of silence is my limits.**

**My heart is pounding really hard making a deafening sound inside me. My hands are shaking and the books as I slowly pick them trying not to exert my injured arms.**

**"Misaki," he remained silent almost a couple of minutes.**

**I started to feel troubled. Maybe I shouldn't bring the topics even if I'm dying to. I don't want to him see in pain. Maybe bringing this topic is too much for him to handle. I want to try not to think about it too much from now on… but still... somehow… deep inside me…feels like…**

**It hurts…**

**"whoa, Usagi-san, don't take it seriously, I'm just joking Kay? So no hurt feelings okay?" I laugh trying to lighten up the tensions but I ended up forcing it. I hate it… "Maybe I should keep it inside your room for precautions, so don't worry okay?" I stand not even looking at him I open the door and walked inside the room. The place is still looks the same. My heavy steps reverberate inside the room.**

**Careful not to stumble I finally place it in a safe place. I'm about to turn around and ready my face his imaginary pained look I made him feel but a long and strong arms snaked around my waist. Holding me so tightly that I can't even breathes.**

**"usagi-san" I gasp. He rested his head in my shoulder. I could feel his warm breath in my skin. It's ticklish yet it feels so good. I close my eyes.**

**"I don't care if he finds it out as long as it won't disgust you…" he whispers. I could smell the cigarette in his breath but somewhat I found myself getting addicted to it.**

**"I-idiot… it… disgusted me already…" I said. I leaned closer to him. His strong chest at my back makes me feel like I'm being hypnotized.**

**"But, I know you like it." I could feel his lips gently brushing in my ear as his warm breath turned my body likes a fire.**

**"U-usagi..san… l-let go…" I moan when his started to peck the nape of my neck. I don't know if when he puts his hands under my hoody shirt but his hand is slowly running up and down in my stomach. I close my eyes in pleasure when he starts licking and gently biting my nape making a wet lewd sound of his tongue.**

**"ahh…." I reach to hold his head but his other hand stops it. He holds the wrist of my hand tightly. "L-let go pervert."**

**"I missed you, Misaki" he said…**

**His other hand creeps downward. He slowly unzips my pants making a creek sounds. My heart's pounding really hard this time.**

**"W-why… are you doing this?" I felt the warm tears coming out from my eyes as I ask him. "You love niichan but you're doing this to me, so why?" my voice is shaking as I ask him. If only he knew that it hurts me more when he's touching even though we both know that he loves niichan not me.**

**"misaki," he stop moving. "That's not true" he said still holding me tightly.**

**"What am I to you! a replacement of niichan?" I shouted at him, I could feel the tear coming out from eyes as i snaps and I can't stop it no matter how much I tried to. The thorn in my heart is just too painful for me to bear any longer.**

**"You don't have any idea how much it hurts to be in my place, do you? BAKAUASAGI!"**

**"Misaki" He holds me tightly this time I cried so hard. I don't know if it's my injury or it's the wounds in my heart that's making winced in pain. I don't care as long as I could lighten the heavy feeling that's making me hard to breath.**

**"I hate you." I whisper through my sobbing. "Hate you. I hate you. Hate you…very much"**

**"I'm sorry" he said burying his face in my neck. I felt his warm tears wetting my neck. He let me cried so hard. He patiently listened to me as I keep saying 'I hate you'. He endlessly apologizes to everything he does to make me feel miserable, all this time. I'm mad. I'm hurt. I'm torn, and it's because I met him, all because of him**

**But…**

**I feel that he slowly lifted up my worries and pain…the hate and agony…I don't know how, I don't know why but it's just slowly disappeared…**

**Just like magic.**

**Just like a ray of light vanished a thousand shadows in my heart…**

**"misaki," he called softly as I calm down and hiccup. He slowly turns me around to face him. I look at him. His eyes are red and his face looks very gentle with cozy smile. "I- "**

**Suddenly the door bell rang loudly… he doesn't seem to mind it.**

**"Misaki, I'm-." he sounds desperate. But the door bell just won't stop from ringing. Its sounded like the person outside is in a hurry , making an endless ring.**

**"Usagi-san, lets answer it" I said while hiccupping.**

**"No, ignore it." He said but the person outside is now banging the door while ringing the door bell endlessly. "Danm!**

**Usagi-san snaps his forehead in frustration. "Wait for me Misaki" he said. Before he left he kissed me in my lips swiftly, leaving me in his room blushing. I heard his big foot step rushing down the stair case.**

**I remained silent as I touch my lips unconsciously. I could still feel his warm lips to mine. My mind is blank. I can't think properly. I don't know what to say if he comes back. I don't know how to face him but… I want to know what his about to say... I don't want to fool my self but maybe…just maybe… Usagi-san might feel…**

***crush***

**A loud crashing down stairs broke the train of my thoughts.**

**"Usagi-san!" I run as fast as I could to go after Usagi-san. He might be in trouble I must save him! I don't know what to do if something bad happen to him… I don't want it!**

**"Usagi-san! Usagi-san!" I shouted at him. But I stop, I feel the fear, shock, and pain when I saw niichan sprawled on the floor in front of the door.**

**"Niichan!" I run to him, shaking him as hard as I could to wake him but his don't give any sign of conciseness. I suddenly felt a sticky liquid slowly coming out from the side of his stomach.**

**I nervously lifted up my hands.**

**BLOOD!**

**"niichan!"**

**Usagi-san who looked so shock and gaping at niichan is starting to move a little. "O-oi T-takahiro,"**

**I buried my face in niichans chest, I feel like I'm gong to lose him. Niichan forgive me for everything I've done to you… I'm sorry for hating you. "niichan!" I cried his name. Maybe this is what they call storm after the sun.**

**"misaki, get away"**

**I heard Usagi-san strong voice ordering me. I looked at him. He looked rather calm than me.**

**"ehh? But,"**

**He starts to balance as he started to lift niichan's body likes a princess style. His strong arms make him carry niichan like he only carries Suzuki-san. "Go get my keys at my drawer in my room," he ordered again but his sudden calmness makes me stun. He walked towards the door but stop to looks at niichan.**

**As he stares at niichan, his face starting to show a very … very... Worried look, more worried than he shows earlier when his looking for me… and**

**I don'tlike it "Takahiro, get a hold of yourself"**

**I don't like it … I hate it but niichan… niichan is..**

**"MISAKI! GO GET THE KEYS!" Usagi-san shouts in a very angry tone when he saw I was still sitting on the floor, looking at them.**

**I jump in surprise. Without saying anything I stand and run up stairs. I don't care if I hit the things that blocked my way. My vision is getting blurry as my eyes are getting clouded by tears. I can't think of anything but niichan was hurt and Usagi-san gets angry.**

**I don't want to admit it and think about it in this kind of situation but… as he does it…**

**It somehow … made a hole in my heart…**

**Maybe it's really true that**

**… I'm pathetically insane when it comes to Usagi-san...**

**I run down stairs as I get the keys while wiping my tears.**

* * *

><p><strong>please review... and thank you for you time...<strong>

**i might upload the next chapter sooner ..**

**this is my first fic and i dont know if it satisfy you but still thank you for reading it..**

**please dont get harsh if i make a mistake **

**then again, thank you**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**I am sitting alone in the waiting area for almost six hours. I'm the only one who never left the room, and the other people around the area had gone home. I leaned my back against the chair, making myself comfortable, and I close my eyes. The doctor said that niichan's wound is deep and its good thing that we rushed him to the hospital. He said that it takes a couple of months or more for his wound fully heal. I am relived and glad that niichan is okay now, he is safe now… It's all because of him...**

**Thanks to Usagi-san.**

**I don't know how fast the situations go. In only a single day, our house burned down, my precious thing is gone, I snapped at Usagi-san, I hated niichan and now I hate myself...Thinking of hating niichan is making me feel guilty. The guilty feelings that I felt when I remember Usagi-san carrying niichan. I'm guilty because even if niichan needs his help, I still hate seeing them like that. I don't know why but I still don't want Usagi-san to be so concerned about niichan as if they have some kind of special relationship.**

**When we arrived at the hospital, Usagi-san didn't even glance at me. I tried to talk to him but he was so busy talking someone on the phone and running the papers for my niichan admissions. He doesn't even know that him ignoring me, is really hurting me. I'm just watching him and it's making me feel like…**

**Like…I want his attention only for me…like…I want him to look only for me. Alone in this place, I feel cold.**

**The loneliness inside me is slowly drowning all of my energy...and I'm tired of this kind of agony...**

**I don't know what to do…I don't know when this storm will pass…I can't do anything anymore...To stop myself from hating niichan and Usagi-san... unless... I could find the cure of this nameless emotion that's growing stronger inside me...**

**Or maybe ... I might be going crazy...**

**"Misaki" I hear Usagi-san's voice behind me. He put his hands at the top of my head, gently rustling my hair. I like the sweet feelings that his giving me each time he does it.**

**But hearing his voice is making me remember all the things I want to forget…**

**"Misaki, Are you alright?" he asks as I chuckled bitterly. Maybe I'm too easy to read. He stops rustling my hair. I look at him confusingly. I hate Usagi-san, but I like being with him. I hate niichan, but I don't know what the reason why.**

**I don't understand, why am I so obsessed to Usagi-san?**

**He doesn't know anything other than writing crap and novels, so why? Why is he making me feel like I can't live with out him?**

**"Usagi-san, I'm sorry" I look at him. "I promise to pay the hospital bill, really, I will find a job to pay you, and…and thank you for you help" I suddenly stood up. I don't feel his hand at the top of my head.**

**"Misaki, what are you talking about?" he asks. I could feel in his voice that he is worried. Maybe it's because of niichan… again.**

**I know that he will not mind spending his money if it is for niichan's sake. Even if I hate Usagi-san, I don't want to be hated by him. I don't want to take advantage of him because I'm my niichan's brother. If niichan finds out about my plan of paying Usagi-san, I know niichan will blame himself for everything that has happened. I don't want to start worrying about that too...**

**"Misaki, I don't remember of asking you to pay me" he said. In fact his voice sounds really dangerous this time.**

**"I will pay, okay?" I huffed. I know that. He always has been like that, buying a thing that's not necessarily important. "I can pay you!"**

**"That's not the problem here Misaki!" Usagi-san also raises his voice making my blood rush up in my head.**

**"It is, Usagi-san!" I turn to face him only to look at the flashing anger in his eyes. "…and you don't know anything, so stop it okay?" My chest is tightening as if I wasn't breathing for a while now. I'm also noticed that I'm gasping heavily because of the frustration.**

**I know that very well that I never wanted to be a burden to him, and I don't want to cause trouble to niichan and Usagi-san…**

**Because…If I do…**

**"Misaki, and I'm worried about you!" Usagi-san snorted.**

**I might lose them like how I lose my parents long time ago… And I will never let that happen ever again.**

**"I don't ask you to worry about me! Go and save your fucking worries to my brother. You don't have any right to tell me what to do, because I don't need you to," I turn my back from him before he saw right through my eyes that everything I was saying at the moment was a lie. I don't want him to worry about me, I want to ask him to tell me what to do but I'm just too scared to be selfish when I know I'm the one who don't have a right to do so.**

**I'm just a brother of Usagi-san's precious 'Takahiro'**

**Usagi-san forgives me for lying. I heard him sigh deeply. I try not to look at his direction or else I'm might feel guilty for making Usagi-san so worn up for me.**

**"Misaki, I think you need to get some sleep, you're just tired so you are saying this nonsense" he said. This is not because I'm tired. I know that he knew it.**

**I heard him lighted a stick of cigarette.**

**"Don't smoke here." I snap. Grabbing his cigarette and crushing it in the floor then taking it back to his owner. I look behind me hoping that no one saw us or he might be in trouble.**

**"If you want to pay me I can think of other way for it, just sleep for now please" he begged quietly. He then sits in a nearby chair, and opens his cell phone.**

**"I'm not tired. I want to wait for niichan to wake up." I replied. I sit beside him, and I feel his warmth come closer to my body, causing me to blush slightly at my own action.**

**"Hungry?" usagi-san asked, as he saw the blush on my face.**

**"No, just want to be alone for now." I close again my eyes. My head is throbbing and I hiss, making Usagi-san turn in my direction. I gently massage the paining area.**

**"Misaki, are you alright?" Usagi-san asks. I felt his hands on my back as if his trying to support me as I felt like I was swaying.**

**"Y-yeah, my head j-just hurts" I complained. I close my eyes firmly when I feel like my head is pounding painfully. "b-but I'm okay"**

**"You are not okay! I will get some medicine, stay here." He doesn't even wait for my reply as he starts running to the nurse station.**

**I nodded. I wait for Usagi-san to come back. It feels like years for me to wait Usagi-san. I feel hopeless in this situation. I want to go after him but. I don't think I can do it. My head is spinning and I feel weak. I prayed for Usagi-san to come back but I can't wait any longer.**

**My body felt cold so I hugged my self. "Usagi-san…" I called his name. I curled up in the chair like a ball. I stay like that until I finally can't wait anymore, so I start looking for Usagi-san. I walk carefully but this time my head is pounding, and everything looks as if it's spinning very fast, and it's causing me to have nausea. I breathe faster as if I'm running out of air, and my chest is tightening. I lean against the wall as my body feels like its giving up.**

**But fear rushed to my senses as someone grabs my hair and my hood of my jacket, and they threw me to the ground.**

**I felt my body slam in the floor, and I groaned loudly in pain.**

**My face at the floor and my right shoulder hurts due to it impact. My head is spinning and my vision is blurring.**

**I can't see the persons face as he slowly walk towards me.**

**"…W-why?" I ask almost a whisper. He grabs a handful of my hair and making me face him. I can't figure out what hurts more. Every part of my body hurts and I just can't explain it in words.**

**The man wears a cap, tinted sunglasses and ski mask making it more impossible for me saw his face.**

**"You don't need to know"**

**I saw him grab a small sharp thing and raising it up. I know even if I can't see clearly, he is holding a small knife, maybe even a scalpel he probably stole from the doctors. I guess this is my time, if only someone saw us.**

**Usagi-san… sorry… for not waiting for you… please take good care of niichan…**

**I close my eyes.**

**"MISAKI!"**

**Usagi-san's voice…**

**I hear him curse. He immediately shoves me aside and run before Usagi-san reach us.**

**Before I lost my senses, I heard Usagi-san's voice call my name over and over again.**

* * *

><p><strong>I opened my eyes. The white curtain, white ceiling and white flowers on the bedside table is making me feel like…I close and open my eyes again.<strong>

**"Am I dead?" I ask myself. My head feels so heavy and I feel so cold now. It's just my head that's making me feel weak. I close my eyes. How did I die?**

**"So you finally wake up" I heard a very familiar voice in the room. I used to listen to it almost every day, a very terrifying and powerful tone of voice. I glance beside my flowery bed to where I hear him talk.**

**"k-kamijou-sensei!" I shout his name when I saw his face.**

**So I'm not in heaven I guess because meeting Kamijou-sensei means that you're in hell. I wonder when he died too... I shivered. What did I do wrong to go to hell anyway?**

**"hehe, sensei how did I die?" I asked wonderly. I can't remember anything. And I feel a lot of pain all over my body.**

**"HUH?" sensei scowled at me. "What are you talking about?" I looked at him again but I could feel my eyes heaved. "Hurry up and get well so you wont be left behind in our lesson" I heard him say before I fall asleep again.**

**Even in hell I should get to study more or else sensei will fail my grades.**

* * *

><p><strong>I opened my eyes. The white curtain, white ceiling and white flowers on the bedside table are making me feel like…I close and open my eyes again<strong>

**"D-Don't Tell me…"**

**"So the prince has awaken!" I turned to my side immediately. Usagi-san was holding a poorly peeled apple , he sliced it and place it in my mouth. "ahh"**

**I'm still confused. Is this still a dream or a reality? I took the apple in my mouth. There are lots of fruits beside me, I frowned. Usagi-san looks fine. He doesn't even have any single trace of stress to his face. He looks so fresh and too good to be true.**

**"Usagi-san what happen to me? Why am I here?" I ask.**

**He looked at me very seriously, as if he can't believe what I said.**

**"Usagi-san, what's wrong?"**

**"Nothing, you collapsed on the stairs because of a migraine, that's all."**

**I open my mouth to ask if when it happened, but his take advantage of it, he put another slice of apple. He looks like his enjoying his little rubbish… I scowl. He sure knows how to do some embarrassing things, and I won't get tired of repeating it to my self.**

**"niichan? Is okay now?" I ask I grabbed the apple and ate it myself this time.**

**"yep. He is so worried about you but its okay now. He still can't go home yet."**

**Home?**

**"Both of you will be living at my place for the meantime until Takahiro can go back to his work and find another apartment." He paused to look at me. "of course, I will be taking good care of both of you. He already agree with me so you cant object anymore, Misaki,"**

**That's it. Usagi-san is too good to be true. Maybe this is just a dream. But even in a dream I still can think about the bills. I know niichan doesn't have enough money right now. After Manami-onisan died three months ago, niichan almost spent all his savings, and now there was nothing in the bank, and I don't want him to overwork himself after this and I don't want to be a burden.**

**"don't worry about the bill, I already paid it" Usagi-san said when he noticed my silence.**

**"usagi-san, I promise to pay you back." I said when I chew.**

**"Yes, you better pay it back." He said, I surprise my self to hear to him. I expect him to decline my offer but … I wonder …**

**I just simply nodded. I feel peaceful now, my mind is so clear. Yesterdays, events are slowly vanishing. I could still feel the pains and hate but I refuse to think of it right now. I'm just too tired think. I don't want to throw away these peaceful feelings inside me… maybe it's because Usagi-san is here with me when I woke up,**

**Usagi-san leans to me closer, His lips almost brushing my ear.**

**"But I know how to make you pay it very easy…" he said. I looked at him curiously. I wonder what's in his mind.**

**"what?" I asked.**

**" I want you to… fall.. In love with me"**

**"WHHAAAT?"**

**"shhhh… … don't shout or you'll wake Takahiro in the other room." He scolds. I close my eyes in frustration and shock. He looks at me in very sadistic way. I can't find a word to say after what he just said. Usagi-san laughed.**

**"It's you who insisted to pay me, right? So I rather ask you pay me that way, "**

**The apples that I chew are falling out of my mouth as I open my mind to talk. "Why are you doing this?" I ask. Is this what they call 'digging your own grave'?**

**Usagi-san picks it up as it landed on my laps. "Because I want to, got a problem?" he eats it and smiles at me handsomely.**

**I don't know if I should be disgusted, amazed, shock or get angry but this is not suppose a Japanese man should do…I don't know what game is he playing but,**

**I will never ever … ever… play his game.**

**"You don't need to force you self, you still have a choice," he stands up then he lifted up my chin and kiss my lips. Before he let go, he expertly lick my tongue tasting the apples in it.**

**I pulled him away. My face is burning like a fire right now. I covered my lips protectively. Its not that he haven't kiss me. in fact , we kissed in a very snowy night of niichan's birthday. Then yesterday at his pent house but… this is so embarrassing.**

**He cleans his lips while looking at me amazingly.**

**"Your too cute Misaki, I hope you realized it yourself, that's why I don't want you to work anywhere. I want you to work for me, work yourself to love me"**

**"Shut up! Stop talking nonsense" I snap at him but he just answers me with a knowing smile. Before he opens the door to leave the room he turns around to face me.**

**"I need to take good care of the other patient (Takahiro) so be good here." He paused to look at me seriously. "I will make you love me, Misaki, so give it up" he paused to let me absorb his words in my head. In an wave of annoyance and mild anger, I grabbed the orange on the counter next to the bed and threw it at him, but he caught it swiftly and left the room with a very irritating laugh.**

**What makes him say those words easily? I hate him!**

**"I WILL NEVER PLAY YOUR GAME! NEVER!"**

**This is not a dream… and I'm wrong he is not good to be true.**

**He stills the devil in disguise who loves to make people suffer! And that's me and Aiakawa-san.**

* * *

><p><strong>Usagi's POV<strong>

**"So what are you planning to do?" Hiroki asked when I left Misaki's room. Takahiro is sleeping peacefully next to me, so I don't think he can hear us talking. Hiroki was leaning against the wall beside the door frame. "Are going to commit a crime to get revenge for what that fucking criminal did to Takahashi-kun" he ask in a very angry tone.**

**I stop walking and face him with a certain look in my eyes.**

**"No… I'm not going to kill that bastard, Hiroki," I replied. Knowing Hiroki I know he is just worried for me.**

**"Then why are you not reporting it to the police?" he ask.**

**"Because… that's not fun at all,"**

**"What are you planning BAKAHIKO?" he asked.**

**"I will give him my novel with my autograph, don't worry, I will not going to kill him or Misaki will hate me" I pause as I think a better idea. "Yeah… maybe a real murder novel might be interesting. I better find him to start writing it!"**

**I grind, making Hiroki drop his mouth.**

**If I found that bastard… I will make him taste his own medicine.**

**For Misaki, I could become anyone…**even a criminal itself.****

* * *

><p><strong> I want to thanks InnocentUke97 for helping me, You make it easy for me to write this story with out worrying about my grammar. <strong>

**hehe... thank you very much Uke97... I'm glad I found you...**

**please review... and ask me anything if something in the story confuses you. **

**Its my first fan fic so please don't get harsh... **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**For Misaki, I could become a criminal.**

**As I thought that, I'm certain that I was speaking the truth, and I don't have a single doubt of doing it in reality but….**

**Would Misaki want me to?**

**Will it be good for both of us?**

**If I do become a criminal, will he regret being with me? They say that Writers have a very creative imagination and are good in reading the actions of others, and are also able to see the complications of the given situation. I guess that's why I am able to write such beautiful descriptive books, and I damn know what situation I am in.**

**But I don't even have the choice of be a criminal right now, because it's Misaki we're talking about. I can't take a bet, and risk our relationship... because I don't want to lose him. Even in my thoughts, I don't want that to happen.**

**And all this time I feel like Misaki is standing at the edge of a cliff, and if I look away, someone might push him down, then I'm going to lose him forever. As long as that bastard is lurking around, I will never be at ease. If I become a criminal Misaki will never forgive himself and I don't want that to happen.**

**I love Misaki more than anything in this world. I love him more than I loved Takahiro before, and nothing in this world can give what Misaki always has given me, and that is his existence.**

**He is giving me his existence.**

**His existence is like a light that lightens up my dark and cold life. His existence is…**

**...My life… without him I'd die…**

**I walk towards the window, and I look outside as if someone might be looking to us. Since what happened with Misaki I have been watching every move that everyone makes. I feel like I may crazy doing it, knowing that we are in the safest room at the Hospital, but after the events a few days ago, the fears inside of me losing Misaki, are eating every ounce of my sanity.**

**The doctors, the nurses, the janitors and staff all look like criminals to me, and i can't rest knowing that Misaki's still in danger.**

**"Akihiko, do you really love that brat?" Hiroki kamijou ask me.**

**I glanced at him. He still leaning on the metal door frame with arms crossed to his chest. He looks more serious than he usually does. Hiroki is the only person that I can trust, the only person who I can say this to without any judgment.**

**Even if he acts like he doesn't care, I know that he does care about me, even though I know he still loves me but I know he cares because I'm still his best friend.**

**"You have asked me that question for the hundredth time Hiroki" I said.**

**I glance at Takahiro who looks so innocent in his sleep, as he is unaware about the serious situation his beloved brother is in. He doesn't know because I don't want to worry him right now. Even if he's Misaki's brother I still care about him. He has to rest, and heal. If stress comes to him, he won't be able to heal as quickly.**

**If something happens to Takahiro, Misaki will be heartbroken. I think he might be as heartbroken as much as I was when if I saw him on the floor dieing of the poison in his system.**

**" It's just really unbelievable that you move on that easily after loving Takahiro for half of your life, and the worst thing is you actually replace him with his little brother who's my student for Christ sake, Akihiko, do you understand yourself, because I don't really understand you that much right now, myself. "**

**"Misaki is not a replacement. I love him and there's nothing for me to rethink about it, and I know you do understand me. How about you and Nowaki? There's an age difference there." I frown. Looks who's talking?**

**I know about his relationship with that big brat who always looks at me like a mad dog, so I hope he's the only person who can understand me.**

**"Okay, then what about Misaki? Does he love you too?"**

**"Of course! Why not?" I look at him confidently while closing the curtain.**

**"Does he really?" he asks as if he don't believe me and it pisses me off.**

**"Yes he does." I confirm, I walk to seat in the chair besides Takahiro,**

**" Did he confess to you?" he asked with a scowl.**

**"No." I laugh lazily.**

**"So it's just you who wants this relationship?" he scowls harder.**

**"No." I crossed my leg and look at him in the same way.**

**"Then who?" he snaps.**

**"…It's also Suzuki-san"**

**"Huh?" He asked,as he looked at me as if I was some sort of dumbass.**

**I tried as hard as I could to not laugh when I saw his mouth drop for the second time. He looked like he was deciding whether he should believe me or not, just as he actually believed in aliens when we were just kids. This is such a rare sight.**

**"Don't fuck with me Akihiko!" He yelled as he furiously threw a deadly glare at me. Now I know how Misaki felt when Hiroki teaches their class.**

**"I'm not, I promise you" I replied seriously.**

**Suddenly the door creaks open making both of us stare at the big and tall ebony hair doctor who looks like an angry Gorilla coming out from the zoo, as he frown at me. "Who wants to fuck?"**

**"Hiroki" I answer as I smirk evilly at him.**

**Hiroki blushed as the big guy looks at him hotly.**

**Silence followed us after that. I began to think about Misaki. He blushes like that too whenever I touch him, kiss him, even just talk to him. That's making him look cuter than Hiroki. Hiroki is just old he's not cute anymore.**

**"So about Misaki's condition Kusama-kun" I ask. Kusama-kun who's standing beside him looks at me as I slowly approach the couple. He looks at Takahiro with a warning look.**

**"Don't worry he was drugged." I explain. He simply nodded.**

**He knows that Takahiro doesn't know about Misaki's conditions. In fact he is the one who suggested not telling him to me. We plan to tell him at the right time, when he becomes healthier, and we don't have to worry about his health becoming worse.**

**"Okay, well about the poison, it was found in his pocket and… on your clothes too. He was exposed to the poison longer than you so he was the most affected. He's pretty lucky that he was in a hospital in the first place, so we treated immediately or else he might of died, Usami-san" he put his hand around Hiroki's waist as I stop in font of them. Hiroki removes it but he was just putting it around a more comfortable place on his back.**

**"Uhmm... you should thank my friend who conducted the tests for Misaki, Usami-san. Testing and diagnosing poisons aren't exactly something I specialize in. I may have not be able to get this information if-"**

**"I know, I will, what else about Misaki?" I asked desperately. Why the hell that poison get to his pocket anyway? I want know if the cyanide poison did risk his health or affect any of his organs, or anything but they fell silent almost making me nervous. Kusama-kun looks as restless as Hiroki.**

**"What?" I ask with a pleading look in my eyes. I nervously prepare my self to hear anything bad about Misaki.**

**"I called the police to inform them on the situation." Kusama-kun said and looks at me directly in to my eyes.**

**I breath in relief.**

**"That's good!" I replied with a great delight. I planned to do that after I cleared my mind earlier. Earlier I realized that I was blinded by my hatred, and I could still feel it inside me whenever I remember the incident, and the feeling of wanting to kill that bastard is still making me loose control.**

**"But I thought you don't want to inform it to the police." Hiroki said.**

**"I changed my mind" I replied while searching for my cigarette packet in my jacket. I glanced at them through the corner of my eye, and put the cigarette in my mouth.**

**"No smoking here." Kusama-kun warns as I start lighting the cigarette. I growled, and accidentally crushed the unlit cigarette. "This is why I hate hospitals."**

**"And you said you wanted to kill that bastard"**

**First my cigarette, now Hiroki's back sass comments, damn it! And that's when it happened...**

**I snapped.**

**"Yes! I want to kill him so much. I want to cut every part of his body enough, so he can beg me to kill him. But If I become a Criminal... if I let this hatred manipulate me, then I'm no different from that bastard." I point my finger in the door as if that bastard was standing there. "And I will only make Misaki suffer! I don't want that to happen" I breathe in heavily, and pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration.**

**Hiroki who looked so angry and confused now looks so relieved.**

**I put my hands in my pocket as we remain silent. We have known each other for a long time and even if he shows hostility, I know deep inside he cares about me as much as I care about him, because he is my friend.**

**"You would also do that if you were in my situation, right, Hiroki?" I ask. I looked at him knowingly as he slowly smiled at me, but to my surprise Kusama-kun interrupts again by pulling Hiroki away and making him face him.**

**"Really Hiro-san. You would do that for me?" Kusama asks in a very hopeful voice. Hiroki looks so troubled by it as he blushed really hard.**

**"Of course … NO…" he answers but Kusama doesn't even bothered by his answer. He pulls him closer to hug him, making me feel uncomfortable. "Nowaki!, baakaa! Let go you brat"**

**I scratch my head as I can't wait for them to notice me.**

**"So Misaki said he don't remember anything, right Nowaki?" I ask. They both glance at me. Hiroki is blushing fiercely I don't know if it's for embarrassment or from his lovers touch.**

**"How should I deal with this?" I ask. "I have read a lot of books about this and I know what causes this and what I'm afraid for is Misaki's reactions if he remembers everything".**

**"He needs to know Usami-san, nut if you don't tell him remember, he will remember everything sooner or later." Kusama-kun said as he slowly pull away and walk towards Misaki's room. "How is he anyway?" he ask**

**"hmm… he's good. At least he doesn't have convulsions anymore" I replied as I walk with him. Hiroki joined us when we reach the door.**

**"Your brat talks nonsense when he's sick." He paused and then started to complain, "He started asking me how he died and why I died. Damn, he was freaking me out!" Hiroki complained.**

**"That's normal Hiro-san if you have high fever." Nowaki said..**

**"But It's not normal to have high fever, doc" I said, as they both nodded and wait for me as I open the door.**

**There Misaki is peacefully sleeping. After a long hour of harassing him he fell asleep. I'm glad that Misaki is okay now. I was terribly worried when he didn't wake up after almost a week. I walked toward his bed, and I gently put my hands to his very careful not to wake him up.**

**"Misaki's doctor said he will have another test to do, and after if everything is okay, he will be discharged."**

**"I heard you hired Nowaki as Misaki's personal Doctor." Hiroki asks.**

**"Yes because I don't trust any doctor here other than him."**

**Kusama-kun nodded, and mumbled a small 'thank you'. The scalpels that all the bastard doctors use make me feel suspicious, so I hired another that is not associated to this hospital. Someone I could trust.**

**After checking the blood pressure and his temperature, Misaki was declared normal. We talked a little before they bid their goodbyes. I know I cause them so much trouble but they are the only one I could trust. I wonder how long this thing will last so I could do the things I wanted to do with Misaki. I know he's worried about something. He looks so distant after three months ago. He doesn't talk too much and he look so upset.**

**I put my worries aside when I heard my cell phone ring. **

**Its Aikawa Eri.**

**This might be about the spy that I ask her to find. She researched a lot of intelligence agencies when I need some reference material for my serial novel long time ago and I don't want to leave Misaki again even if Takahiro is here. Besides, Misaki still don't remember anything yet, and Misaki will never stay in the hospital forever so it will be good if someone will guard Misaki if I'm not around.**

**"Hello." I answered walking down to the window far away from Misaki. **

**"Sensei, I got your demands and he is very perfect. You might drop your knees if you saw him" Aikawa giggled in the other line.**

**"hmm… good then let me see his files first before I meet him in person."**

**"okay but don't forget your promise sensei" she reminded me before cutting the line.**

**I don't know but something was making me feel like the summer was about to begin. On by one, I will go and succeed my plan. I glance at Misaki who smiles in his sleep. I smile when I see him smile in his sleep. Just to be able to look in his face is so precious to me. I really love Misaki.**

**I will do everything just to protect him. I will without a doubt whether it's good or bad…**

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><p><strong>This chapter and the next...next...next chapters will never be born if InnocentUke97 is not around. Thank you again and i promise you I will study hard so i can fix this thing myself... but without you everything might screwed out.<strong>

**so please stay...still XD**

**and to those who reviewed... thank you so much...!**


	7. Chapter 7

Note: I do not own Junjou Romantica

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><p>Chapter Seven<p>

3 days ago...

I got a call from Shinoda , the person I hired to find the attacker, to meet him in the nearest coffee shop that was across the street from the hospital. I have to thank Aikawa later, because none of this would've been possible without her.

But during my meeting with Shinoda, I never expected to discover this biggest secret that Takahashi family hides.

"Misaki is not Takahiro's biological brother." Shinoda says.

While looking at him I nod slowly trying to suppress the emotions wanting to burst inside my chest. If Misaki found out about this, he'll be heartbroken.

"I went to the Takahashi's burned down house, and luckily the files was not burnt, as they were in a safe. The hospital where Mrs. Takahashi was in labor for her second son is at Kenkō-tekina seikatsu chiiki sentā** .The files that I found confirmed that the second son was indeed a stillborn" He takes the files, and gently sets them in a neat pile and holds out the files to me.

I reach out for the papers and read the files repeatedly. I cant find any words to say. It's easy to understand but what I can't believe is what this person in front of me is saying.

The evidence of his statement is right in front of me, mocking my very senses.

I covered my face with my own hands. The files confirm that the second son was a stillborn. If it is so... that only means Misaki is an adopted son of Takahashi family.

That explains why Misaki does not have any resemblance to Takahiro.

" The original certificate was seal-" Shinoda began to say, but I cut him off.

"I know that! I studied law" I growl in annoyance.

He fell silent... but patiently waited for me to calm down as I inhale my cigarette furiously. Does Takahiro know about this?

Let's see I was 10 years old or 9 when Misaki..err... no... the second son of the Takahashi family was born so I definitely aware of this unless... 1) Takahiro knew and never told him or 2) Both of their parents (who were really close friends with each other) hid this from Takahiro and I. Should I ask Takahiro? It easier than done, that's for sure. You just don't ask your friend "Hey is your brother adopted?' But the thing I'm scared of the most is If Misaki will find all this out...

"Is there anything else you have found?" I asked Shinoda.

"There was this black car that was spotted in M university and near Takahashi's apartment. We also acquired these pictures at the surveillance camera at the hospital's parking lot, and it matched the car both found at the University, and the Takahashi's home."

I look at seven pictures that he slid across the table to me. I studied the pictures carefully... If this person is everywhere Misaki is, it may be true that the attacker wants to erase Misaki's existence in this world...

"Were you able to get the plate number?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm currently investigating it now, sir. It's not that easy since I don't have the files of all the cars of Tokyo. If I did, I would be able to narrow the cars down to the make of the car, the color, and of course the license plate. But don't worry I'll find out the owner of the car by next week for sure. " he replied.

"Good." This is the best lead to find he attacker. I don't know if I should be happy or not. I cant get rid of this bad feeling that something is not right about this. I gave all the files and picture back to him. "You better take good care of these files first... I don't want 'anyone' of them to see this. Keep these hidden in that file I gave you." I explain. He simply nodded and took it swiftly.

"Please investigate more about Misaki's real parents" I ask politely, and he nodded once more, then he stood and bowed.

"I will" he said as bid his goodbye. I was then alone at my table in the coffee with serious thoughts. Now, what am I supposed to do if Misaki finds out about this? Misaki is adopted, where could his real parents be? Could _THEY_ be behind all of this?

But more importantly, Will Misaki ever forgive me for prying into his life?

Should I keep all of this to myself and keep him in a blind spot forever? Or should I tell him, even if it may hurt him... he has a right to know... but...

Is that the best thing to do?

I kick the table furiously, making other costumers nearby jump in their chairs in surprise.

I'm so afraid that I might lose Misaki... I know that he hates others tampering with his life, but... I cant help it... I love him, and I must do everything in my power to protect him.

"Misaki..."

I cant bear the thought of hurting him over this secret. I want Misaki to be happy no matter what... No matter what the cost.

* * *

><p>I have been sitting in the couch for entire day, and I leaned back in the chair, rubbing my temples as I feel headache coming.<p>

I am reading a book that Usagi-san brought, I love it since he gave so much thought of choosing it for me but I can't understand anything from it. I'm on the second page of it, and already I'm starting to feel sleepy. I look at Usagi-san who's sitting quietly in the chair beside me. He's also reading a book by some unknown author to me.

He looks stunningly handsome in his reading glasses. He chooses to stay with me, since niichan is outside to get some fresh air and to also shop for our dinner. He could have joined him but he didn't.

He doesn't even know but that this simple decision he made makes me feel somewhat special and this kind of feeling makes me want to repay him even more.

...And speaking of payments, I have to figure out a way to repay Usagi-san, even if he tells me I don't have to worry about niichan's bills.

I have to think about our situation first. Now that I think about it, I was confined for almost two weeks. I wonder how hurt I really was when I fell down the stairs. Usagi-san disn't mind staying there longer, but it made the situation even harder! Not to mentions niichan's bill will probably… no definitely cost a lot, but I'm glad that we are now discharged , and thanks to Usagi-san we have place to stay.

Usagi-san has been taking good care of me. He also takes good care of niichan, despite his busy schedule, and I may have caused him a lot of trouble for doing that favor. I know he wouldn't mind since it's for niichan. After all I'm niichan's brother and Usagi-san loves niichan.

"Usagi-san?"

"Hmmm….?"

I felt my heart begin to beat faster when his strong yet gentle lavender eyes looked at me.

I tightened the grip tighten on the book.

The moment I realized that we were both staring at each other in silence, I felt embarrassed and looked away, blushing.

"Forget it" I mumbled, and I began to read the book, beginning on a random spot int the page to hide my blushing face away from him.

"Misaki" he whispered… Closing his book, I could hear him sigh. "If it's about the bill, I said that you don't need to pay me and don't worry about it."

How did he… I put the book down and look at him with surprised eyes. "How did you know I was thinking about that?" I asked. Am I just too stupid to notice that I'm so obviously obvious?

"Well, it's because your Misaki, Misaki. Just fall in love with me and everything will be easier." He answered making my brows furrow. I notice that Usagi-san keeps saying those love things to me these past few days and harassing me every chance he could get. At first it was really embarrassing, but right now it's kind of irritating me, knowing that what he's saying is not true and it hurts me to know that. He never did any of this when I lived with him… maybe Usagi-san wants to forget something so he is doing that to me.

I wonder... Why me? of all people.

"Usagi-san do you have problems? I could always lend you my ears" I asked using a convincing tone, even though I know its sounded strained.

"Ha?" he looks at me confusingly.

Lately, He looks so distressed and when he would be thinking so deep in concentration in the corner of the room, he doesn't notice I'm looking at him. I am starting to feel worried about him. "You can talk to me," I offered. I had said to myself that I never, ever want to trouble him but even so, I still ended up troubling him … so this time…

This time I want him to talk to me about what's troubling him. He always asked me what was troubling me, and he always listened.…

I know this might sound odd since I don't know if I could even do something to help, but I hope that me trying could lessen Usagi-sans troubles.

"Usagi-san, really, I'm a good listener… I have friends who always talk-"

"Misaki…" Usagi-san's voice sounds in pain.

Without a warning he puts his arms around me, making me bury my face to his chest. He was holding me so tightly that I could barely even breathe. Did something bad happen between him and niichan again?

I gently wrap my arms around Usagi-san. Gripping his clothes tightly I feel the pain inside me. Niichan is so dense… why can't he notice Usagi-san's feelings for him? Usagi-san loves niichan more than anything in this world. Usagi-san's always been by niichan side. Before and after our parents died.

Only a king of idiots can never notice it. I hate him … enough that it hurts me inside.

But even if that's the reason, why do I fell like Usagi-san is afraid of something?

"Misaki… Misaki… Misaki…." He murmurs.

I'm right. Usagi-san is acting strange...

He keeps calling my name like it just the only word he knew. His hug tightens scaring me that if he hugs me any tighter he might broke my bones. I still want to hold him until he calms down a bit, but he is hurting me now…

"Usagi-saaan! Stop…" I say in a breathless voice, as I begin to struggle but I can't just get out of his grip. I don't know why Usagi-san starts acting this way but I don't like him doing this. I punch him in his back, pushing him away. But still I can't move his rocky body. I felt the warm tears dropping in my shoulder blade, and I stopped struggling.

"Misaki, I lo-" Usagi began to say, but...

"Usami-san, your hurting Misaki"

We both look to the door where Sumi-senpai was standing, holding a key.

I froze, like a huge amount of cold water was poured on me. What to do? What to do? I started to panic. How did Sumi-senpai get here?

What if Sumi-sempai discovers that about Usagi-san is a homo? He might be in trouble!

And… yeah me too! I might be in trouble too! Because I'm hugging him, TO Sumi-sempai eyes that's makes me a homo too!

NO I'M NOT HOMOOO!

"Usagi-san! G-get off me" I start struggling. It's normal hugging a person who seeks for comfort but… but… Usagi-san is not letting me go!

"What are you doing here?" Usagi-san asks. His voice sounds dangerous.

"I came to visit Misaki and I happened to saw Misaki's onii-san outside" Sumi-sempai answers. "He gave the key to your house, he's still outside . His cell phone battery is out and I left mine at home so he asks me to call Misaki to help him carry the groceries since my left arm is hurt and I cant help him"

"He could have use the telephone booth outside. He sure is stupid sometimes" Usagi-san said.

"But I love niichan's stupidness sometimes..." I fought for niichan but suddenly Usagi-san fell silent his grips loosen.

"And Misaki I bought you your favorite manga THE KAN''

''THE KAAAN!" I scream making Usagi-san losses his grips more. I have been craving for it, wanting to read the next volume. ''Thank you senpai!'' I run to senpai without looking at Usagi-san to retrieve it but he purposely hide it again.

He holds my shoulder to stop me." You better go to and help your niichan first" he said and looks at Usagi-san. "Okay" he ruffle my hair before letting me go. He guided me to the door.

"Yes!" I hurriedly run outside the door.

Now that I think about it why does everyone do that to me? Am I that kid to their eyes? I huffed

NO.

Not everybody do that to me, I have Kamijou-sensei who kicks my ass when he see's me.

"Misaki"

I heard Usagi-san voice calling me with a worried tune making me feel irritates. He was standing besides Sumi-sempai now. He is always been restricting me these days. Whenever I go, necessary or not, he always been there to watch me.

But I can't tolerate it now.

This is THE KAN we are talking about!

One of the manly and most legendary manga I ever read! Of course I do anything for it. Anyway Usagi-san will understand me. He knows how much I love this manga!

I looks at Usagi-san with assurance. "I'll be back don't worry." I wanted to add 'thank you for worrying about me I love it', but sempai is here. It's embarrassing.

But…

Usagi-san…

He doesn't look fine, face is darkening with agony and his eyes is telling me that

He needs me...

NOW.

*SLAM!*

The door slammed in front of me, making me feel a thousand miles away from him, and I know that this was not good.

I wanted to open the door, run and embrace him and ... hold him... I want to make his pain go away. I never saw him act that way! Is it because of THE KAN?

Does he think that I like it more than the book he gave me? But that's not true!

Even if I like THE KAN. I like that book more!

This is not good! He usually scolds me and asking me what makes me think that THE KAN so interesting to read. He only sees it as a picture book.

Now I hate THE KAN…

"Usagi-san…" I called.

Niichan is waiting for me outside. I can't turn away from the door. Usagi-san is hurting inside but ... maybe he needs…

Someone else other than me… someone he loves deeply…

Without anything in my mind.

I run as fast as I could to the one and only person who can save Usagi-san… and that's my one and only person I have

My brother.

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><p><strong>To InnocentUke97: You are the best editor and beta-reader! XD<strong>

**... '''(^ ^)'''...**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

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><p>Misaki….<p>

*click*

I look at the door, and Misaki's gone.

He loves his brother's stupidity, but he doesn't know that he's stupider. Does he like that picture book than me?

"Ah! It's too bad I broke my arm and I can't help Misaki's oniichan" Sumi whines.

I look at Keiichi-kun as he locks the door after Misaki leaves. I know that this boy has another personality behind his fake smiles. Ever since I saw him with Misaki, he never failed to cause me discomfort. He is the type of person who is not trust worthy. He likes my Misaki and I won't ever allow him to get near Misaki! Never!

"What do you want?" I asked, looking at him in an indisposed manner. I don't like to talk to him anyway. I don't have time to look at this bastard, even if he is Misaki's 'friend'.

"Right now? Nothing in particular" he answers. He walks toward the window. His glasses make it impossible to look at his eyes. "But someday I want something that only you can give me."

I glared at him. I don't like where this conversation was ending up. "What do you mean?", I asked blanky, as I look at his plastered left arm, and looks badly hurt. He deserved it.

That smirk on his face is honestly starting to piss me off. What the fuck does he want?. "You will find it out later, but now…" he puts his hands in his pocket he faces me with an extreme determination."I will make sure no one ever hurt Misaki, because I'm sure you will."

WHAT THE FUCK! I hate that fucking attitude that he has!

"He wont get hurt again brat. Don't underestimate me." He seriously is pissing me off. I walk towards the couch and hurriedly grab my cigarette lying on the table before I kill this bastard, before Misaki and Takahiro could stop me. I try remain composed as I sit in the couch, and I look for my lighter in my pocket.

"Maybe, physically" He retorts.

"Physically…" I echoed sarcastically. Damn him for saying 'maybe'. I put the cigarette in my mouth before lighting it.

"Mentally and emotionally, no. I know you would never hurt him emotionally, you love him too much."

"No shit Sherlock." I spat angrily.

Now, I look at him furiously. He has some guts for saying that. No wonder I've hated him from the start... and...

What the hell does this brat think he's saying? I know that Misaki is upset by something but whatever it is… I'm sure I'm not the one causing it because I will never do anything to upset him for sure.

"Misaki is an idiot. He's the biggest idiot on earth." Keiichi says.

Only an idiot like Misaki will never notice that talent of this brat's deceiving act. He doesn't need to tell me and I hate the way he talks about Misaki. Every single word he says just adds to the list of reasons that want to make me choke him, but in the end I remain silent, hoping he will get tired of talking and leave. I sigh, If only I can throw him away without Misaki around to scold me.

He walks to sit in couch in front of me, and for once he was silent too. If only he could stay like that.

I close my eyes as I rampantly take in and exhale the calming nicotine. I know it's bad to smoke, but kids these days just add unwanted stress into my life. I wonder why brats like him could talk to their elders like that. I now understand why Hiroki gets wrinkles every time I met him. But I don't have patience to just listen to him. I have to kick him out, die in frustration, or murder the bastard.

"Look-" I began to say.

"I love you"

"… ..."

The cigarette fell out my mouth, and I looked at him. He has be kidding right?

I pick my cigarette off of the floor and crushed it in the panda ashtray on the coffee table in front of me.

I don't want to believe him... but he looks so serious...

How should I reject him? I don't care if I hurt him or not. But I really thought he liked Misaki, NOT ME!.

"I hate you for making me read a lot of your books. Even if they were not interesting at all, and for making me follow every article and magazines about you since I was a child. It sucks, it really does."

I look at him blankly. I wonder if Misaki's idiocy infected him, and in fact he is the second person that has mocked my work… It's not that I force him, or anyone, to read my book but I don't care either way.

"…and that hate becomes love when times passes, also things change, and I come to love you more and more when I read every book you written… but you changed Usami-sensei. I fell in love to your dark and lonely style of writing but suddenly your new gentle and kind style kills every part of the style of writing by you that I'm so used to… I'm sorry"

"Well thank you but you don't have to force yourself to read m-"

"But that was from before."

Before? What's is he getting to now? He just said that he didn't love me anymore...?

We both stare to each other before the sudden realization makes my heart race.

Don't tell me…

"Now I love that 'idiot' very much" he smiles brightly "I'm going to make him love me Usami-san"

"Is that a challenge?" I ask mockingly.

"I don't know, I just simply want Misaki. What do you think this is?"

A big roar of Misaki and Takahiro walking into the room broke the tension in the room. They both were holding the bags of groceries and goods...

"Usagi". Takahiro says. He looks so worried, and he dashed to my side and hurriedly felt my forehead and neck.

I look at him with a confused look. What happened?.

"You don't have fever. Misaki said you looked like you were in pain, does your head hurt?" Takahiro asked in a gentle voice. I glanced at Misaki who was looking more worried than Takahiro.

His face was flushed and he was shaking slightly. Misaki walks towards me, and puts his hand over my heart, I see the gentle, worried look he had, and I felt like my heart was about to break as I saw his teary eyes. He's worried for me.

I can't let him get Misaki away from me. HE IS MINE.

"Yeah..." I responed in a half fake/real pained voice to Takahiro. "I think I need Misaki to take me to my room I feel a little bit dizzy." I hiss.

Keiichi-kun clenched his fists, and had a angry pout directed at me.

"Oh, okay. Misaki..." he said.

"Yeah! Sure!" He quickly drops the bags that were still in his left hand, and put them on the coffee table. He then help my right arm to support me and I didn't mind if that made me feel decrepit. We both turn our back to Takahiro and Keiichi-kun and I smile slyly as I catch the glimpse of Keiichi's face darkening with jealousy.

"Misaki I came here to tutor you."

"Nah~ thanks but Usagi-san offered his help yesterday."

Keeichi-kun then got a bit angry, and raised his voice just half an octave louder. "What about 'THE KAN'? "

"Just leave it there" Misaki replied as we were both ascending to the second floor. I don't feel sorry for that brat if Misaki's attention is mine, but only natural because he loves me, and not him.

"Misaki do you like Usami-sensei?" Keiichi-san asked in an evil voice.

Both of us stop walking on the way up of the stairs. His grip on my arms tighten. Takahiro is just silently watching us downstairs. It seems every one of us is just waiting for his answer.

As soon as Misaki feel the tensions building up because of his silence he started to talk "I-I like Usagi-san..."

I gasped almost inaudibly, and silence followed after that making the room temperature feel hotter.

Minutes after I finally found my voice... "Misaki I-"

"... Because he is my brother's special friend"

Idiot.

I feel that my body turns into stone as his words deeply carve into my mind. He must be kidding right?

Right?

I'm can't believe he would say something like that... I'm so...disappointed...

"ahaha! Is that so Misaki? My little brother is so cute... I better cook our dinner so Usagi can take his medicine." Takahiro said cheerfully.

"I better help you out 'oniichan' " Keiichi-kun said with a mocking voice, as he regains his usual aura. He slowly followed Takaihiro in the kitchen.

We haven't moved an inch.

Takahiro who agreed, never notice the tension rising in the room because of Misaki's answer. " C'mon, let's go Usagi-san"

* * *

><p>"-on't usag- aah" Misaki moaned as I licked the wet tip of his swollen manhood. Hearing him moan makes me want to do more. I spread his legs widely to have a better access as he squirms in pleasure. Holding his hips I swallow him fully.<p>

"s-sto-aahmmnn..." he grunts silently. He is hard and hot all over. I began to pleasure him more. Moving my mouth over his throbbing manhood was making a very wet sound of my saliva and his pre-cum as he vigorously shivered. "Ah..." I then swallowed him up to the root and sucked him.

"S-top plea- ah...aaah" he pleaded in a trembling voice. But I wanted to mark him... to taste him and make him mine entirely. Body and soul. Carving this moment to every part of his mind so he won't be able to forget this, to forget that he is only mine.

He cummed hard inside my mouth. I drank every single drop of it, licking the excess cum at the side of my mouth.

"Misaki" I call, I reach up to kiss.

"I hate you..."

I stopped halfway to his lips astonished. His mouth is bleeding and he is crying in seethe. Hands tied in the head board and half of his body is naked.

What have I done?

I was so angry and disappointed of Misaki's answer to Keiichi-kun... I was so hurt and desperate that it blinded me...

I don't want this to happen. I don't want Misaki to hate me.

I reach to wipe Misaki's blood in at the side of his mouth. He might have bit his mouth to keep from moaning out loud. I forgot that Takahiro and the damn brat are downstairs...

Clenching my hands into fists, I groan in regret. I promised to protect him but even in my own hands Misaki is still in danger. I broke him emotionally, and Physically...

I just love him so much...

I was afraid that this love was also unrequited, and that made me lose control.

I released his hands. The red marks at his wrist are so painful to look at.

I never wished for this to happen. I caress it, kissing it with a look of worship, as if the reddish mark will disappear like magic if I do. "Misaki I'm sor-"

"You're horrible" Seethe and hurt he looks at me directly to my eyes. "I HATE YOU!"

Just three words.

Just those words.

I lower my head. I feel the pain in my chest as I slowly realized everything.

I hurt him, and it hurts me to know I did...

But I can't complain.

"Sorry" I said as I got off the bed and pull out my coat. If only you never come in my life you might not experience this with me, Misaki.

I may not love you like this. I glance at him.

I hurt you. I made you cry...

But I will never regret loving you this madly. Even if it means leaving you, letting you go, If that's makes you happy and safe, I will let you go a million times. I will leave you for eternity. If that will keep you safe from this so dangerous love of mine.

Because if you stay with me any longer. I may not be able to do it, Misaki.

I leave the room, Every step I take feels heavy as I walk downstairs in silence. I heard Takahiro calling me when he saw that I was leaving. But I went outside before he could see me...

See the tears in my eyes.

The tears that only Misaki are allowed to see.

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><p>yay! Its done^_^<p>

Thank you for helping me again InnocentUke, You dont know how much I appreciate your help :P...

I love this chapter very much.

Pamaxxful: thank you

JunjouAngel: sorry it's late-_-...

to the readers: please REVIEW..


	9. Chapter 9

When I wrote this chapter, honestly it gets really hot...XD

I wont be able to update sooner...-_-...sorry..,

but please enjoy and review kay?

* * *

><p>Chapter Nine<p>

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why do I feel so troubled?

It has been two weeks since he stopped talking to me...since he's shown me any emotion.

He never talks. He never smiles. He stopped nagging me. He stopped harassing me.

It's not that I like him harassing and nagging me, but he is so cold. It's his fault that this even happened, so why is he mad at me? If he hadn't done what he did that night, I might not have said those words to him. It's his fault and I shouldn't feel troubled since I'm the victim here.

...But it's still bothering me. For the first time in my life, I saw Usagi-san lose all the color in his face.

"S-sorry" I whispered out loud, as if he could hear me. The look of him in pain and in regret is the last thing I saw before he untied me and left the pent house.

I know he cried. I could see it in his face before he left the room. He looked so disheveled and he had an almost inaudible ragged breath.

I leaned my head on my desk. Kamijou-sensei is late so everyone in the class is making a fuss. My mind is full of thoughts so I don't mind if Kamijou-sensei will never show up.

"Mi-sa-ki-kun"

I jumped up in my seat when Sumi-sempai hugged me from behind. He buried his face to my neck.

"Sempai!" I scolded him.

He sits beside me leaning his chin at the palm of his hands he looks at me intently. "You haven't been looking good for the past few days. Are you okay?" he asks me.

Come to think of it. Usagi-san starts acting strange when I leave him with Sumi-sempai. Were they fighting when I wasn't around? Usagi-san hasn't liked Sumi-sempai from the start and sempai always insulting Usagi-san's work so…it's not impossible if they were.

"This is nothing. I just can't get the mathematics right" I sighed. I don't want to lie but I can't tell Sumi-sempai my worries.

"Uhh... Misaki, you do know this is Literature class?" Sumi said with a disapproving voice.

I shook my head and started laugh that damn laugh I do, every time I lie, or get nervous. " I know.. I uhm... didn't so my math homework last night, because I was having trouble with it."

"Misaki... we didn't have math homework last night...This is about Usagi-san, right?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing" He said in a distant voice. He then grabbed my book and flipped the pages. "Here, let me teach you some techniques to solve this problem easily."

"eh? uhm... t-thanks" Sumi-sempai is nice. He always waits for me when I'm not finished with something, he even walks me home and helps me at school.

I feel sorry for him because the truth is I already know the techniques he's teaching me. Usagi-san tutored me even if he treats me coldly. It's awkward and hard to concentrate, but it's because of Usagi-san's skillful way of teaching that I manage to learn.

I glance at Sumi-sempai. He is very good at teaching but…

Why do I feel empty?

"Sempai" I say quietly.

"Hmmm?" He hummed in a confused tone.

"Why do I feel like this?" CRAP DID I REALLY SAY THAT?

"Ha?"

"Oh, uh Haha...Forget it"

Sumi-sempai's confused face is funny and rare but I can't find myself to laugh. I don't like this, I spent too much time thinking about nothing but Usagi-san.

And this is all because of him…

Sumi-sempai hasn't talk to me the rest of the time. I tried my best not to space out in class. It feels like a long day to me before the class has finally over. I'm glad that I answered the entire question easily.

I tidied my desk. I hate being ordered by Usagi-san to come home early but I don't have a choice since niichan seconded his orders. Usagi-san hasn't even dropped me off or picked me up from school either, since that day too.

GYA! This is too frustrating.

I put my books into my backpack and was getting ready to go but then...

"**TAKAHASHI-KUN!**" the voice of the demon roars, giving every one in the class chills.

I feel my whole body tremble as he glares at me... It was that kind of glare telling me that this might be my last day alive. "Come to my office. **NOW"** I gulp. He waits at the door with a furious expresssion. I feel my body stiffen as I walk towards him.

Why do I have to suffer like this? Is my life just cursed to be this way?

"Kamijou the devil will definitely devour him." I hear some of the students in the room whisper. I hear Sumi-sempai call my name, before sensei suddenly grabbed my shirt and tugged me out of the room.

* * *

><p>My face was flushed, not in embarrassment, but in frustration. Now, I was standing in front of the building of Usagi-sans pent house and I don't know what to do. I don't feel like going inside knowing that Usagi-san is there.<p>

"_If you don't love him then leave him! Tell him that's why you can't love him. You hate him right? You loathe him, then don't stick your ass on him anymore…"_

I shook my head trying to get rid of the recent conversation I had with the Demon Kamijou. I can't really call it conversation since only Kamijou The Devil talked the whole 3 mins of it. The whole time I couldn't even utter a single word. His superior, Miyagi-sensei, drove me home so I didn't need to walk home. I unconsciously lifted my hands to reach my chest. I bit my lip.

It still aches.

I can't leave Usagi-san. I'm sure of it. I can't. I only said those words to him because it hurts so much… to be a replacement for niichan..., to be kissed by him, because he can't kiss niichan. It's so damn frustrating!

"I hate it! He only did that to me because of dumb niichan. He's just a user!" I yelled at the building but...

My body feels so heavy... I look down at the ground and a thought ran through my mind saying,"_Are you sure about that, Misaki? What if he really loves you?"_

"Why?" I whisper to myself.

Silence answers me...

This doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm missing something... I feel troubled. What is it?

A thought hit me like an arrow falling from the sky. If Usagi-san used me, he could have used someone else to replace niichan before he met me, but he didn't right?

I feel like I'm defending him from my own accusations. But the thought of me defending him makes no sense... shit! my heart is beating so loud.

Why?

"_...He loved you more than he loved Takahiro and a person who has never felt that kind of love before will never understand that."_

Kamijou The Devil words echoed in my head.

Love him?

I can't love him like this right? It's impossible. I already thought of it before... I don't know when and why but I'm a man and I wasn't born a homo so it's clearly impossible... and.. and I cant break the ties of the long and strong love he had for niichan.

But what if this is really love… what should I do? I've never loved anyone before...

I'm scared.

How do you know that you love someone?

._..if you can't live without him._

…_if you can't stand seeing him with other guy_

…_if it hurts to saw him in pain and be blissful for just a small thing he did…_

_...and Especially if your heart jumps whenever you look and hear his voice.._

"Misaki?" Usagi-san's voice calls from behind me.

My heart skipped a beat. The crisp cold air stung my face, and I didn't even feel my warm tears cover my face. I lift my head and turn around to face him, not worrying how confused and flushed I may look.

I gulped, as I saw him wearing his long coat with both hands in his pockets. He looks so sad… the same sad eyes when he would look at niichan long ago.

The sad yet powerful eyes that hold emotion so powerful stare into my eyes. The mirror of unrequited love. Why didn't I notice it before? His eyes look at me like I'm something he loves but he knows it will never love him back. .

"Usagi-san… sorry" please don't be sad, I wanted to yell that to him, but I cant find my voice after saying sorry...

Without a second thought Usagi-san flew forward, and hugged me tightly, like he might lose me if he didn't. I hope I could become more honest and open to him. I hugged him back, smelling him and feeling his hands on my back. I love the way he held me. I don't feel any trace of disgust whenever he touch me.

There's no doubt. This person holds a very dangerous place in my heart.

* * *

><p>I'm lying in the couch. I feel dazed and I can't seem to stop Usagi-san right now, his hand beside my head supporting his weight so he wont crush me with his body. I felt his hand rub my hips to my stomach. Our breathe mingled as he kiss me passionately. Sliding his tongue inside my mouth, I feel the warm and tender wet tongue that explores my mouth. His kiss is very dominating, and now sliding down to my jaw, nipping and tasting me. I moan, I feel hot all over and I cant think of anything other than his touch.<p>

I hear my zipper opens and I immediately snapped out. " Usagi-san, Niichan might come."

He stopped kissing me for a moment and looked at me with a gentle face, "He wont"

I reached up to touch his silver hair glow dully, because of the yellow light of the sunset. It's so alluring. I cant believe a handsome guy like him loves a person like me.

"Misaki, I'm sorry"

No.

I'm the one who made you suffer so, Why are you apologizing?

"Usagi-san don-"

"I love you" he leaned closer, leaning his forehead against mine. I could feel his warm breath tingling my face. " I love you"

Usagi-san invades my lips again but this time he its more passionate, more gentler. His hands roam more, going up till he reaches my nipple.

"hmmm..." I moan as he rub it with his thumb. His kiss continues to go down to my neck. I feel that my breath stop when he found his lips in my nipple. He licked and sucked it.

I grabbed a handful of his hair and moan louder when he bit it gently. The touch of his teeth on my nipple is so good. I arch my back as a sign that I wanted more, and Usagi-san seemed to understand, as he suck it harder, "aahh" I moaned involuntarily.

I was so busy feeling the sensation and I cant remember when he pulls my pants down. "stop it Usagi-san" I tried to push him away but my strength was failing me especially when he started to stroke my hard organ.

"Ah!"

My sense of right and wrong was leaving me when his hand hungrily pumped my member. His cold hands are burning my skin.  
>His mouth leaves my violated nipples, and I shivered in pleasure when He ran his tongue up from my neck to the back of my ear and bites my earlobe.<p>

"Usagi-saaah..." I moan when he ran his thumb at the tip of my swollen member. "aah! nmnmnm..."

He kiss me in my lips, in my jaw, going down to my chest to my stomach and "Ah! aaah! Usagi-saahhnnmmmm..."

I bucked my hips as his hands spread my thighs. His mouth engulf my whole member. My grip on his hair tightened as he sucked it hard.

But all of these sensations turned into fear when his fingers found their way in my...

He put it in! "Usagi-san...please lets stop this here" I beg. Tears start to fall when he put another one of his fingers in. I cant do this "It hurts"

"Misaki... I don't want to hurt you"

"Your doing it now IDIOT" I retort.

"Don't worry it will go away" His voice gives me slight reassurance but when he moves his finger farther I feel like I'm being torn.

"Usagi-san"

"sshh... Just relax Misaki"

I tried to relax when he stopped moving his finger. He kissed my lips again as if he was apologizing before he started moving it again when he noticed I was more relaxed. He pushed his finger farther and I gasp when he pull it out.

Hmmmm... Pulling it out doesn't seem to hurt.

Usagi then started pushing his fingers in again, and by reflex I I tense, but then I relax When I realize it doesn't hurt anymore. Usagi-san moves his fingers around, widening the space and it hurt again. I feel my face contorts in pain. I placed my arms around his neck, not knowing how much longer this pain will last. After a second I feel more fingers enter. and I slightly jump in protest when he push i in and out. I feel the pain again.

"Wrap your legs around me Misaki" Usagi-san says. .

I wrap my legs around his waist. He pumped my erection again while moving his fingers around. I don't know If I cried out because of the pain or the pleasure he's causing me, but I moan more when he squeezed my member.

"I- com-hmmm" I moan.

Usagi-san pull out his fingers and open his zipper and tugging the material of his pants down, I blush when I saw him pulling out his throbbing manhood. and Its soo damn HUGE. I close my eyes.

Its entering. I feel it. I gulp for air as Usagi-san penetrates deeply inside me. It doesn't hurt instead it feels great. Its hot.

"Misaki" he calls

"hm?" I answers lazily.

"open your eyes"

"No" I refused.

"Open your eyes"

"No" Doing this with him is so embarrassing.

"I want you to remember this moment, Misaki, because this moment is... moment that I mark you as mine" Usagi-san's voice is so alluring and husky.

I gently peeled my eyes open and saw Usagi-san's face, he looked so serious, his eyes were burning with passion and certainty. I felt like my heart stopped beating at this moment.

"This strong love that dwells inside me that even Takahiro cant break will be your shadow that where ever you are, you always belong to me"

Without waiting a reply he thrust in.

"ahh!"

I feel my body shudder in pleasures.

"Misaki"

He pull out his own erection almost all the way and push it back in.

"anhh" I moan loudly. My mouth was open in ecstasy, there were no words to explain the feeling of pleasure coursing through my body. Usagi-san thrust in and out almost wildly.

The wet sound of our body's friction filled the living room. Usagi-san held my legs and pulled out almost all the way, before pushing his cock back in. I screamed in pleasure at the feeling.

Usagi-san kissed me passionately and moving by instinct my arms tightened around his neck.

Thrusting harder deeper until he reach my sweet spot.

"aahhh" I left a long load moan as I reach my climax. I cummed, and the white liquide coated both of our chests. Usagi-san then thrust harder and faster, wanting to reach his climax. I felt Usagi-san cum, his hot seed inside is warm, and it felt good.

We both collapse on the couch. Panting and breathing hard. Usagi-san hands cupped my face. I look at him...

...this erratic heart beating. who's heart is it?

"Misaki, I love you so much"

I dont know whose heart is it but its like a warm melody in my ears. Usagi-san face is the last thing I saw before the drowsiness finally makes me asleep.

I hope that melody will continue to sing to me... and only me.

* * *

><p>InnocentUke97: you might get tired of me thanking you...^_^...sorry... but THANK YOU a billions times<p>

JunjouAngel: thank you for always reading and review...THANK YOU a million times.

Pammaxful: Hey! THANK YOU GIRL.. I'm out of Thank you cash sorry... are credits okay?...^_^...just kidding...haha!


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you again for beta reading InnocentUke97.

It takes a while to update but I hope you still enjoy this.

* * *

><p>Chapter Ten<p>

"I'll be home at eight." Niichan said.

Its 7 in the morning on a nice warm Sunday but lately niichan goes wherever, and doesn't come back in time for dinner. "We'll wait for you at dinner" I respond.

Niichan has regained his usual aura since his wife's death. When she died, he never smiled or laughed, but I'm glad that he's back to normal.

I wonder if his love for his wife will fade away, like what happen to Usagi-san's love for niichan.

"Now be a good boy Misaki." Niichan said in a joking tone.

"Niichan!" I huff, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I scowled at him for a moment, but Usagi-san's big hands ruffled my hair making me looks like a child.

"Don't worry I'll be taking good care of him, Takahiro" Usagi-san said with a hint of tease.

"Spank him if needed" niichan added jokingly.

I groaned in frustration. They're always making fun of me, treating me like a child ...and niichan…niichan always tell embarrassing stories to Usagi-san.

Ahh! I cant take this. "Well I'm off." Niichan said, and he turned the around to open the door.

"Take care" Usagi-san and I said simultaneously.

Niichan walked out with a small wave and Usagi-san and I watched as the door slowly closed.

When Niichan is gone, Usagi-san and I always have meals together, watch movies, talk, laugh,and Oh gosh…I really can't take this. My heart feels like its going to burst in bliss.

As soon as the door closed, Usagi-san's arms wrapped themselves around my waist. "Misaki, I'm out of Misaki." he whispers huskily in my ear making the small hair behind my neck stand in excitement.

"Let go!" I exclaim.

"Shh… Takahiro might still be able to hear you." He warned, but I jumped in surprise when he bit my earlobe gently..

"Usagi-saan..." I moaned his name.

This kind of thing happens to me all the time now. Whenever niichan is not around, Usagi-san jumps at me, molesting me as much as he wants in any way he wants. Every time we have sex now though, it feels oh soo good, and to see Usagi-san's panting figure above me gets me blushing every time. When I think about it I just want to go into his arms, but I'll never let him know that.

Just these thoughts are so embarrassing.

"Misaki" Usagi-san led me to the nearby wall, where my back was pressed against it. Usagi-san had both of his hands pressed on either side of me on the wall. I could feel Usagi-sans hard lenghth pushing into my thigh a bit, as he leaned closer to me.

"You pervert! Its 7'oclock in the fucking morning, don't you have any self control?" I said with a blush on my face.

"Yeah it's Morning but we can't do this later tonight, Misaki. Your brother would be home, and I could never cover up your beautiful moans and screams." He pouted at me and I felt his hand slip into my jeans start to pump my now excited organ, "Hey, Misaki how do you want me to do this?" Usagi-san asked seductively.

"Please Usagi-san lets stop here." I said in a shaky voice after a not too quiet moan.

"Hmm… maybe I need to spank you for being stubborn" he teased.

"IDIOT, aahnmn" I tried to suppress my moan as he started to punp my cock faster and faster.

And he kept going faster and faster, until….

**RING RING RING**

"AHH!" I cried as I felt my release. I lean my forehead in the crook of Usagi's neck as the pleasure of my release was engulfing my senses. I can't seem to hear the telephone ringing clearly.

"T-the phone" I said when I finally said when I felt myself coming down from my high.

"Leave it." he said while pulling his hand out of my jeans.

"But it must be important." I insist and I tried to pull away, but he stops me, using his free arm to block my way, and there I was trapped between his body and the wall.

"No it isn't." He said confidently.

"How can you say that?" I rebut. I wonder where he inherited his arrogance…. Its not that it's important right now, I duck to pass and made my way to the telephone.

"Because what's important to me right now, and what will always be important, Is you Misaki." he said behind me.

I stopped mid-step at hearing those words.. His words are like a magic that hypnotized me. I don't know how to express my emotions at his feelings, and then I end up blushing like a tomato.

"Usagi-san I-" my body turns to face him… But my all my embarrassed feelings turn into rage as I witness him lick my sticky cum "DON'T LICK THAT!" I jump in protest.

* * *

><p>"Don't make such a fuss over something like that, Misaki" Usagi-san said, as we are having lunch. I wanted to leave the room, but I have to cook lunch for both of us. I'm still not talking to him but it seems he can't stand it anymore. I sip a mouthful of soup to avoid answering him.<p>

"Besides, its not that I haven't taste you're cu-" Usagi-san began to say before I cut him off by Yellinf, "ITADAKIMASU!"

I slammed my bowl on the table enough to cut his forbidden word. I stood up and walked toward the sink to wash the plates.

Hmmm… I feel partially annoyed when Usagi-san licks my…ahm... whatever but the real source of my annoyance is that when I hear him say those words, when I called and turn to face him… I almost…. Almost said that I loved him! Gosh this is really frustrating!

That kind of word is something I shouldn't be able to say that easy.

My train of thought gets cut off by my cell phone ringing. I rinsed off the soap that coated my hands. "Wait, wait, wait" I said to myself when the ringing didn't stop. I dried my hands with the towel next to the chrome sink and finally fish out my cell phone from my pocket.

It's Sumi-sempai.

"Sempai!" I exclaim. I wonder why he called.

"Misaki" Sempai rasped in a whisper. His voice sounds worse than when I last saw him.

"What's up?" I asked, glancing at Usagi-san still eating his food.

"I had this rare part time job offered to me and since I can't do it, I thought you might like it. I know you've been looking for a job, and I think this will be a great starter job."

Work? I rarely ever get a job opportunity like this. I tried finding jobs these past few days, but they always reject me. "Rare? Wow, what is it?"

"You just need to clean an apartment once a week. It pays well." I can hear Sumi-sempai cough in the other line

"Thank you sempai! I really needed a part time job right now." I turn to close the running faucet.

"Nah, it's nothing, how about you pay me a visit here since I'm sick." He coughed again.

"Yeah sure! I'll bring porridge for you" I offered, I really plan to visit him. Sempai helps me a lot and I can't miss the chance to pay him back.

"Yay! Thanks" Umm...just the way he said that he...

...HE SOUNDED WEIRD. And not just any weird, like pedo bear weird.

"Sempai, please take good care of yourself," I say. I wait for his reply but it's only silence that answers me.

"Sempai?" I asked to see if he was still there.

"Misaki, thank you."

Before I could ask what he meant, he hung up. What's up with him? I close my cell when I heard the dial tone. I really can't find a friend like Sumi sempai, I'm glad I entered M University.

I put my cell in my pocket before planning to get Usagi-sans plates that were on the table . He must be done eating. I should finish doing this so I could go back to my room.

I turned away from the sink to get his plates, but I bumped into something hard. "Ow," I rub my nose, but I was surprised when I saw Usagi-san standing in front of me. He had a cigarette in his mouth, as I looked up to see his face better. I almost forgot that Usagi-san looks so much taller when he's this close. "Dont stand behind someone BAKA," I yell. I wonder if it hurt him when I bumped into him. I want to ask...

...However, right now, Usagi-san looks like a real demon.

I step back in horror, "Usagi-san...?"

He has his arms crossed against his chest as he looks down at me. I was prepared for him to begin yelling at me for talking to semapi.

"Work, huh?" he asked in a monotone.

Huh? What?

I blink my eyes. Finally realizing what he meant. "Y-yeah. Sempai's to sick to do a job, so he wants to leave it to me."

Is he really Usagi-san...eerr no...He almost looks like Kamijo The Devil...

* * *

><p>"Apartment huh?" I stared with disbelief. "It's a apartment, but it's in one of the MOST EXPENSIVE APARTMENT COMPLEXE'S IN TOKYO!"<p>

With my shoulder slumped I looked at the building bewildered. I can't ecen believe I'm even standing in front of the most luxiorious apartment building EVER!

I hope no more people like Akihiko Usami live here.

Sempai said that he already informed the man living here that I was going to work here in place of Sumi, who got accepted for this job. I don't know the guy's name who lives here, but he's rich. I hope me feeling out of place in a place like this, doesn't affect me working.

But this is work and if I can do this, I can finally pay Usagi-san back.

I decided to enter the building. I'm glad that no one is looking at me. It's actually peaceful. A handsome receptionist is smiling, looking at me and I feel at ease. I walked towards him. He wore a all black suit.

"Kyo Ijuuin" I said in a nervous tone. I feel like any moment now, I'm going to make a mistake.

"Ah! You must be him" he exclaimed.

Huh?

"I'm Kyo Ijuuin" he said with a smiling face.

"Oh! Hi I'm Misaki Takahashi" I bowed politely as I introduced myself. I'm glad that I don't need to look for him.

He politely bowed too. "Nice meeting you Misaki"

After bowing, I politely asked, "So you're a receptionist?"

He smiled gently, "No I actually own this place and I'm here to specially meet you"

"Huh?" Now I got confused, Why would the owner of this complex want to meet me?

"Now don't get flustered. Sumi told me that you were looking for work, and so I told him about the opening we had here, for one of our residents."

"Y-yes" Sumi-sempai really went all out to get me this job.

I followed him. My body felt stiff. I should always remember that I should never trust a person by appearance. He led me to the elevator.

"The owner of the room doesn't want service to come from a company, I don't know why, so he just wants a part timer since he doesn't use the room so often. You only need to clean every Sunday. Get the key in the reception area, so you can just enter the room freely" The elevator stopped at 20th floor. He ushered me to room 205. Using a key he opened it. "Clean everything except the brown cabinet."

"Brown cabinet?"

"Yes, the one right over there." He pointed to the cabinet near the door. "Now about the salary, we will send it to you via ATM. Fill up the application form before you leave the building today, and leave it in the reception area with the key"

"Okay"

"You can start now"

"Eh? Now?" I need to buy things for dinner and it's already 4:30.

"Yes, its Sunday now, right?"

"Ahhh" I nodded. I will just send Usagi-san a message that I will be late. I reached for the key in the man's hands and proceeded to enter the room. Usagi-san will get mad, I'm sure, but this is work after all.

* * *

><p>Holding the grocery basket, I look for the last of the ingredients for dinner, ebichiri . I'm glad that I finished early. There were only a few things that needed to be cleaned in the apartment. It's actually clean except for the dust and garbage. I feel like I'm really lucky today. Finishing work early and shopping early for dinner is like hitting two birds with one stone!<p>

"Now I better make Usagi-san eat plenty of bell peppers so it could make three Birds." I laugh at the thought.

Cabbage... cabbage... There! Beside the pile of squash.

Only one left. I walk towards the table where it was set to pick it, but a man managed to pick it up first. Arggg!I missed my chance!

I look at the man, and WOAH his so tall! Almost taller than Usagi-san! And he wears something that not ordinary people don't wear...a Rolex? This person is weird, He's looking back and forth to the squash and cabbage as if he has doubt of buying it.

If you don't want that, don't buy it!

"Hey, mister, do you want any help?" I ask in polite manner.

He looked at me. He's wearing a glasses that cover his jetted eyes. I think I just made a huge mistake for asking him, if Usagi-san is scary, then this guy is terrifying.

"Forget it" I said. I could just buy it in another market. I drastically turn away but to my surprise he grabbed my arm, not harshly however enough to make me face him again, and he asks, "Stop what are you doing?"

"Let go." I said loudly.

"Don't struggle, You offered me your help after all" His deep and commanding voice sounds so familiar...where have I heard this before?

"What?" I ask dumbfounded.

"This is cabbage so where is the squash?"

"...?"

io... io... you gotta be kidding me..."S-squash, right?" I ask.

"Yes squash"

* * *

><p>10 minutes later...<p>

"Yes! I can finally go home" I stretch out my arms. The bag of good is not that heavy anyway. I look at the man besides me. Now that I think about it. It seems that he don't usually do this kind of stuff. Maybe his wife is sick and can't go to grocery. I look at the bags of good that he brought. It's exceeding for two people. Maybe Two or Three children.

What a life... Its must be one big happy family.

"Thank you for helping me today." he thanked.

I tried to smile, but I felt my face contort in nervousness. It's my first time receiving thanks without a smile.

Maybe not one big happy family but one big strict father in the family, I say. Thanks to him I don't need to go to another market. "No problem" I replied. "Is this your first time doing this?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Yes." he answered shortly.

Is this person a robot? I can't put up a good conversation with him. I glance at my watch. "I'm heading home, how about you?"

"I'm waiting for my driver"

DRIVER!

Are you kidding me? Why do he has to bother buying groceries when he is, in fact, a rich a guy. I never thought I could meet someone weirder than Usagi-san. That thought gave me chills, "w-well then, good bye" I bow politely and started to walk hurriedly, crossing the street as the red lights flashed and all the cars stopped.

Just when I cross the street he calls out for me, "Wait, what's your name?" he yelled at the other side of road.

"Takahashi Misaki!" I shouted back at him. There are plenty of people crossing the road that makes me unable to see him even if I jump. "How about you?" I yelled back, the least I could know is his name.

"Haru-" but someone grabbed me from behind. I look at the culprit, and I was so surprised to see that it was Usagi-san.

"Usagi-san!" His eyebrows arched I groaned in annoyance.

He's wearing his brown scarf and his glasses make him look like he's equally annoyed with me."I was starting to feel worried, and I remembered you said you had to get a few things for dinner, so I came here looking for you."

"Out of all he stores, how did you know I was at this one?" I asked crossing my arms on my chest.

"Well it's the one closest to the house. So I thought I would come here and you know...help you bring the things home." He simply replied.

"What the- I'm not some grade school you know." I blushed like tomato. I don't feel like getting angry now. He sure knows how to change my mood easily. I turn away and look for Haru-san on the other side of the street, but the cars are already lively and deadly. Which made it impossible to spot him again.

"Who are you looking for?" Usagi-san asked when he noticed my disappointment.

I sighed before answering "N-nothing"

"Then lets go." He said, grabbing my free hand I groaned in protest but I ended up swept by his touch again,

It's not that I would meet that mister again, so I don't need to worry about it.

I'm 99% sure of it.

* * *

><p>"Haruhiko-sama" Tanaka called from behind him. "Fuyuhiko-sama wants to talk to you"<p>

He stared at the butler. Haruhiko timidly looked at him. He was irritated to the fact that the boy ran away from him before he could introduce himself properly, but its more irritating to know that he's irritated.

"Yes I will be going now." He answers calmly. It's not right to throw a tantrum, especially to this old man. His father is too selfish that he cant bare living with him anymore, so he started to be independent. I can't live to his expectation anymore when he only think is of Akihiko.

Living in the apartment complex all by himself without any maid to cook and shop for him is his first step. He wondered what his father wanted from him, when he clearly informed this matter to him.

He's angry and jealous of his half brother. He feels pathetic because for the first time he feels defeated and it hurts him.

But somehow when that boy approached him, he felt like new. Like after he broke, he was born again.

_Takahashi Misaki huh?_

He found himself imagining the boy's face all the way to his father's house.

* * *

><p><strong>to junjuouangel, pamaxful, katrinadianne : thanks for reading :P<strong>

plz review.


	11. Chapter 11

**First I want to thank ChibiSeme97 for helping me again..**

**To readers please enjoy...**

* * *

><p>Chapter Eleven<p>

This is it! This has to be the worst thing that has ever happened in my life.

And this is how it started:

I was going to visit Sumi-sempai and Usagi-san insisted on coming with me, for some odd reason. I couldn't say no to him, so I just _had _to let him come. I felt so sorry for Sumi-sempai who looked so distressed and angry at Usagi-san's presence.

Usagi-san scrunched up his face in disgust and said, "This tea doesn't taste very good. A Jacksons earl grey, or maybe some red tea would be have much more flavor than this. You don't have very good taste, Keiichi-_san._"

"Usagi-san!" I gasped. "How can you say something so rude to Sumi-sempai?"

"It's okay Misaki, that always happens to people who smoke, their taste buds rot." Sumi-sempai spat at Usagi-san.

I laughed nervously.

I can't agree to sempai without hurting Usagi-san, and I can't side with Usagi-san without hurting Sumi-sempai…. UGH! My life is just spiraling downward, isn't it? I feel like I'm in a middle of a silent war. The room is filled with tension from the competing men. What they are competing for, I don't know just yet.

"How are you feeling, sempai?" I asked, hoping to ease the building tension.

"Oh I'm fine Misaki, thank you for your concern." Sempai said with a warm smile on his face.

I smiled back. "That's good to hear. I was so worried. You sounded so sick on the phone."

"Don't bother, Misaki. Wild grass does not die easily," Usagi said in a spiteful tone.

"Oh, really? Never heard of that saying." Sumi-sempai said in a sarcastic tone.

"Sempai, I'm sorry for Usagi-san's rudeness. His tone must be from not sleeping much last night. He was working on his latest novel." I apologized.

He laughed. "What do you expect from an old man?"

"Sempai!" I exclaimed.

"Well unfortunately, Misaki loves this old man _very, very, very much_." Usagi-san said arrogantly.

I blushed a deep red color. Now I have the feeling I am just about to witness a cat fight. But somehow, Usagi-san's childishness is making him cute.

Unconsciously, I chuckled. Both of them stopped arguing immediately and looked at me oddly.

"Why are you laughing?" Sempai said, annoyed.

"NOTHING!" I yelled, still laughing a tad.

They both sighed.

* * *

><p><strong>Usagi's POV<strong>

I sighed in defeat. I don't know what makes me love this idiot, and I know his sempai is thinking the same exact thing when he exhaled.

This idiot doesn't know that he is the one we are fighting for. I glared furiously at Keiichi-kun. He's looking at Misaki with pure affection, while Misaki returns it, not knowing that he's sending the wrong signals.

"Misaki will you give us a moment?" I asked gently. It's a good thing that Misaki only finds Keiichi-kun as a friend and nothing more, but still I won't allow any man to feast upon Misaki's pure looks.

"Eh? But-" Misaki protested before being cut off by Keiichi-kun.

"It's okay Misaki. I won't die." He assured, giving Misaki a no good, fake goody-good, schoolboy look.

He makes me wanna kick him right in his nut sack.

"Well okay..." Misaki said as he swiftly stood up and looked at me a with warning look. "Usagi-san, please be good." He pleaded.

I laughed sarcastically, "I'm always a good boy Misaki, and you know it. Not like this bastard."

"A Bastard who calls another person a bastard is a bigger bastard than the insulted bastard, right Misaki?" he retorted making Misaki's jaw drop in obvious confusion.

"I think I-I'm going." Misaki says evasively. Knowing him he rather choose not to answer than being humiliated.

When the door closed and the sounds of Misaki's footsteps faded, the silence and deadly glares resume to replace Misaki's presence, making the room grow with tension once more.

"I thought I told you to meet me next Sunday, not now." Keiichi-san said angrily.

"Tell me what you found out about Misaki." I asked firmly, ignoring his deadly glare as he sips his tea. I never really wanted to see him since last time but after Misaki left last Sunday he called me saying that he found out about Misaki's past.

I don't want to believe him for shit, but... he already knows about Misaki being adopted.

"Your careless Usami-san what if Misaki hears us?" he complained. "I don't want to see him hurt because of the truth."

I don't how Keiichi could get this information, but I feel assured that he will never say anything to Misaki. I know he could never hurt Misaki. I leaned closer to him even if it's annoys me knowing I owe him for keeping the whole incident with Misaki's secret attacker under wraps.

"What else do you know about Misaki." I asked impatiently.

He frowned while sighing heavily. "I met this person a long time ago."

I listen to him intently with my arms crossed. Every word that comes from his mouth makes my heart pound loudly.

"He's my father's best friend's son. I don't really pay attention to him whenever he visits here but suddenly, he visits here but not for my father. He visits my house for me." he paused to take a breath, and then he continues. "He was asking about Misaki before the incident happened. He seemed suspicious to me so I confronted him whe-"

"You confronted him?" I snapped at him. This bastard might now be the stupidest guy I know.

"Yes." he answered straight-faced, not even scared that I might kill him now.

Palm on my face, I sigh, as I feel headache coming thanks to him. "Now that bastard is hiding somewhere-" I started to blame him when he cut my words.

"He's not the attacker." he said. Emphasizing his words so it would process through my thick head.

Frowning at him, trying to suppress my anger I ask, "What makes you think he's not the attacker?"

"He's Misaki's older brother."

I slam my hands on the tea table making the cups and tea-kettle shake, and close my eyes firmly so I wont punch him. "Being his brother doesn't mean he is not the attacker. Do you know how stupid you are?"

Hell, if I know that this bastard is lying... but even if he's not, being his brother doesn't make him innocent and by experience, I know that very well.

"He has Misaki's mother's picture and he really looks like her. I even have their DNA test result..." He added. I could hear him sipping his tea again.

I snapped my eyes open but before I could ask him anything, he continued "I personally got Misaki's hair samples without him knowing, and my friends mom. I sent it to four different hospitals and it's all positive."

I looked at him in disbelief, maybe he's just lying, but even if he is saying the truth, having this revelation coming from him makes me jealous and annoyed. No one except me should know about this but now that I know so much, inside me, my uncertainty and fears are getting stronger.

Prying too much is necessary for me to investigate, but this doesn't feel right. I don't even know if I should be happy about finding out such a thing anymore...

After so many minutes of silence, fighting against myself I ask with pure hesitation,

"Who is this person?"

He answer me in his usual calm manner. "Kyo... Kyo Ijuuin. Misaki's favorite manga writer"

* * *

><p>It was twelve A.M. when my cell phone rang. I was still working on my new novel... damn that Aikawa for not giving me a break.<p>

Sitting on my swivel chair I reached for the phone on the table. After the earlier conversation with Keiichi, I still feel astonished. I still haven't confirmed this myself, so how would I know if it's true?. Even he gives me the result paper of the DNA samples, I still can't believe that this Kyo Ijuuin is Misaki's big brother.

"Hello" I asked after flipping my cell phone open without even bothering to look at who called me this late.

"This is Shinuda, Usami-san I need to talk to you about something important. How about tomorrow morning? Well technically later in the morning."

I rub my temple. "Okay, today same place, same time as before." for calling me this late, it must be something important. He hummed in agreement before hanging up the phone.

Now I have to tell Shinuda to investigate this person too...

* * *

><p>The next morning I was walking down the stairs without Suzuki-san in my arms because of Takahiro. Apparently me carrying my bear is just weird.<p>

Misaki and Takahiro were making breakfast in the kitchen and the smell of food overwhelmed my tired senses.

Misaki almost jumped in horror when he saw me, but Takahiro tried to smile and greet me "Good morning."

"Morning" I replied. I ended up writing all night, and I haven't gotten any sleep, not to mention the stress that has been wearing me out recently. I know I look even worse than I usually do. This is the first time Takahiro has seen me like this, since I've always stayed cool in his presence. But for Misaki, this not the first time.

Both of the men before me were wearing an apron. It was a rare sight. _'Maybe I could apply this to my next BL story.' _I thought. Misaki who was still stirring the soup looked at me in horror as if he could read my mind. I smiled sadistically.

"Take your seat Usagi," Takahiro said while placing the plates on the table.

"Thank you." I said, as I began to place my cigarette in my mouth. I was about to light it up when Takahiro grabbed it first. I growled in protest.

"Now.. now.. No cigarettes in the morning Usagi-san! It's bad for your health, and we're all about to eat!"

I helplessly look at him, but I don't have enough energy to argue, so I let him win. For the meantime I saw Misaki huff while looking at us... or was it just my imagination?

When breakfast was ready, Takahiro took Suzuki's place at the table and enthusiastically placed food onto my plate. I thanked him for serving, and then we started eating after thanking for the food. We all promised to eat breakfast and dinner together unless one of us couldn't make it. I like it, enjoying meals with them is a wonderful feeling. It's surprising, the loneliness that I felt before now feels like a dream.

.

.

.

.

And I feel guilty...

... Yet the feelings of wanting to protect their innocent and peaceful lives are getting stronger.

They both looked up at me when I stopped eating. They both look worried. "Usagi, Is there something wrong?" Takahiro asked me.

I sighed. I realized that I stopped eating and obviously looked like I was in deep thought. "No, it's nothing don't mind me." I replied blankly.

I'm worried that if they figure out this secret, they wont be very happy about it... I know it will scare Misaki, since I'm scared too.

After breakfast I dropped Misaki off at school. It bothers me when he suddenly just leaves the car and doesn't even let me give him a kiss. He left me confused inside of my car watching his back as he walked inside his school gate.

What's his problem?

* * *

><p>Shinuda grimaced while looking at me. I cant help looking like the living dead. I've been so stressed and I didn't get enough sleep last night, not to mention Misaki's attitude this morning.<p>

After the waitress served us the coffee, he handed me a brown envelope. I reached for it, not minding the look he was giving me. He was sipping his coffee slowly while I opened it curiously.

Inside, there was an old picture with a younger looking version of Takahiro and his pregnant mother standing together with another couple. They looked so happy. I almost smiled, but when my eyes wandered to the other couple in a picture there was a lady in a kimono...

"Misaki!" I ask my self, dumbfounded.

"That's what I thought too when I saw that picture, they're like a carbon copy" Shinuda replied as I look at him, asking for an answers.

I take a look at the picture for one more time. The naive and Innocent smile. The big jade emerald eyes. Everything... All of her features... there's no doubt she is...

"Misaki's mother" Shinuda continues. "Tadashi Hana is her name. His spouse, Tadashi Arai died in car accident after he was born" He gently place another envelop in the table gesturing me to open it.

I couldn't find myself to reach for it. I know I'm over acting but if I open the envelop he's giving me I might die with cardiac arrest..

Shinuda continued by saying, "I still don't know why she would abandon Misaki to the Takahashi Family when she was indeed a daughter of a rich family. She got married a year after her husband died to a businessman. They adopted a child after knowing she couldn't bear any children.

Something's not right about this. It's clear that Takahiro knew about Misaki's real parents. If Misaki's mother belonged to a good family, then a lot of people who knew her would know about her bearing a child. What about Takahiro's relatives? Aren't they aware of the stillborn child. Even if they kept this secret, there's no way this situation could be kept a secret...and aside from that...

Why would Misaki's mother send Misaki to the Takahashi family? This is just getting on my nerves now...

"The attacker must be really cunning, we found no evidence inside the black car. I found it dumped in a river two weeks ago after the investigation started. I confirmed that the car was just stolen and we found the owner is innocent."

I sighed. "It's possible that the attacker is not alone. We should be careful." In an impulse I reach for the envelop.

A picture of a black haired man with Misaki's mother fell out. Frowning, I ask him "Is this her second husband?"

"No sir, that's their adopted son, Kyo Ijuuin."

I snap on my own thought when I heard the name. "adopted?" I snort. I was swimming on my own thoughts that I might miss hearing him right.

He patiently repeat "Yes adopted child"

I groaned in frustration. Now I feel 100% sure that this person holds the key of this investigation... the attacker? Maybe. Loving brother? Something tells me no.

"Usami-san?" He called in a worried tone. "...Is there something wrong"

It took me minute to answer him, "Yes, Kyo Ijuuin... I heard from a source that he was asking about Misaki before the attack. Keiichi Sumi and Kyo Ijuuin. Investigate both of them"

"What are planing to do, Usami-san?"

"I plan to give this picture book writer a visit."

* * *

><p><strong>Its been so long... i hope you enjoy this fic..<strong>

**I need your review to help me develop the next chapter... **

**any Q just p.m me...**

_...thanks for reading _


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

There is something wrong about this.

Even if they say that I don't need to worry they only makes me worried more. They often have a serious business to talk privately that it needs them to luck up in Usagi-san's room and it bothers me specially niichan, he is acting strangely aloof to Usagi-san when I'm around.

And speaking of that great pervert, he doesn't give me any perverted attack instead he always stop half way whenever he tried to touch me. Even with just a simple touch.

Something is really off.

... and I feel worried specially this time.

**E**arly in the morning and I'm ready to face the world. Great sunny day and the refreshing feeling of warm breeze is tempting me to go out since its Sunday today and NO work.

They might as well feel this wonderful feelings and be back to normal but the thought remains in my imaginations of big goofy dreamland...

_Yet somehow things like this is sometimes normal right?_

**... the atmosphere in GREAT USAMI'S living room is 100% more dreadful.**

"G-good morning" attempting to be noticed I greeted them.

They were having a cup full of coffee while reading a newspaper. Locked by their own world.

It stills feel unusual since they doesn't even give their usual cheerful smile and reply for almost a week. The usual cheerful sound of their talks about their day is replace by the cold silence. The first day that this ever happen, I thought they simply woke up in a wrong side of bed but this is wrong now. If they have any problem, they need to tell me what is it because we were living together...and

I am not anyone to them!

Arms crossed in my chest I slam in the couch between them, making them startled in their sits.

Without looking at them I start ramping unthinkable things "Niichan... Usagi-san... If you both always acts this way I will never get enough sleep next time. If you have problems you can always count me to listen. I might not even understand it but I'll try my best. I'm worried that this matter will get worst if not discussed. I will be glad if both of you will be back to normal. I know it's too much for me to ask but what I'm trying to say is if needed you can always confine your problems to me, even it's impossible for me to help but I will try hard to understand, beside..." I pause to breath "I'm not anyone to any of you "

I said it. I smirk victoriously... Somethings telling my gut that I feel kinda cool right now...

Like what I always read in manga...

I wait for them to reply but instead only silence replace after my sudden outburst. The heavy stares that they're giving me, maybe I said too much.

... It's dangerous for me to stay.

"W-well just forget everything that I said" I immediately say before standing to resign my seat when two pairs of long arms wrap around my hips for an embrace.

It startles me. It's very surprising. Usagi-san and niichan hugs me, burying their face on my hips.

"Misaki" Usagi-san moan my name.

It's been so long since he touch me. It's embarrassing.

"Gomen... Misaki" niichan said, voice rugged in great remorse

"Thank you" Usagi-san added.

Still puzzled by them. I reach down their head. While gently ruffling their hair only one thought that makes the feelings inside me stronger, whatever their problem is I will never leave them alone.

Specially this big idiot with silver haired perverted rabbit.

Because of the event, the only person I could confide my problem is Sumi-sempai. I dont have any other friend to talk about this anyway but it's not that I dont have any other choice. Sempai is my important friend.

We are having lunch at the cafeteria like we usually do when we have time together. After he patiently listen to my worries, Sumi-sempai concludes " Usami-san is cheating on you" He was smiling while watching me drinking soda.

I almost gag the drink out of my mouth "Sempai!" I defensively look at him "He is not cheating on me, there must be other reason and besides, we're both men."

He chuckles. "Oh my bad, I thought you have this intimate relationship with him"

The term intimate send shivers though my veins, but fighting my blush makes me feel naked to the truth that indeed, something intimate happens between Usagi-san and I. It maybe very embarrassing to even think of it but could it consider that we could be called as...

"Lover" sempai who's like reading my every thought suddenly make me startle. Taken aback by his remark I gave him a nervous look. In the contrary, sempai smiles contently "I thought that you were lovers"

"Of course not!" I immediately deny, shaking my head to emphasize what I feel.

Grinning madly, sempai murmured something incoherent. Without second thought, I know he doesn't believe me "Let's not talk about that, How about you, sempai? Do you have anyone special?" Changing the topic I ask. We're leading the conversation to my most sensitive spot, and I'm not ready to think about it.

"Of course." sempai calmly answer, with a goofy smile on his face.

Getting excited to the topic I lean closer "Who is she? Is she at our class?"

"It's you Misaki" he answers instantly.

I laugh nervously "Me? You're kidding right?"

"Who knows?"

I pout. I dont really know if when Sumi-sempai is serious or just screwing me so I rather not reply. I drank all my soda before gathering my things at the top of the table. Still not giving up the topic he gave me another shot of question "So how many times they spent their time together?"

"Huh?"

Smiling smugly he lean closer to me. "I mean do they luck themselves in his room or your brother's room? Which of it or they rather do it when not your around?"

Still not getting his point I ask "Do what?"

Sempai chuckled amusingly before leaning back to his seats and answer me in a very simple manner..." Sex what else do you expect?"

It takes awhile before the word registers in my mind and before I knew it I squeak as loud as I could. My body feels hot suddenly with embarrassment when some of the student nearby our table gave us a very annoyed look.

"that's not true!" face frowned with pure frustration, I yelled, sending annoyed student shock. I doesn't even noticed that I slam both of my hand on the table making a loud thud. In the contrary, sempai seems like he enjoys watching me getting work up.

"What I am saying will never be wrong Misaki..."

Stop it! "There's no way it could happen" right, even if Usagi-san loved niichan in the passed. There's no way he would lie to me.

Usagi-san will never do that kind of thing.

"What kind of thing do you expect Usami-san and your brother while you are away then?" Sempai's voice became serious this time.. Sending me a feeling that he knows something that I dont..

Body's shaking in frustration I clench both of my hands. "That!" I continue to defend "That might something to do about their work" I defended. Clenching both of my hands.

"But that doesn't change the fact that they did 'it' " Sempai insists.

I rebut "Usagi-san will never do that because-" he said that he loves me. I want to say that but how could I? Such embarrassing things cannot be said that easily. Even if I want say it so badly right now.

Waiting for what I have to say sempai ask, "Because?"

"He...I ... he" I stammered. Words remain in my tongue as my mind feels so heavy with agony.

"Trying to defend him wont do any good to you, What Usami-san told you before might be history to him, right now, they might cruelly lie to spare your heart."

I look at him... not minding the cloud of tears thats threatening to fall.. I believe that sempai's accusation is wrong but is this tingling feelings inside me?

Why?

Why is semapi's looks makes me think that believing Usagi-san will only gives me a false hope?

"Usami-san spent more time with your brother than you, when you're around they were acting cold to each other and they felt guilty when you confronted them. Then tell me... what's making my conclusion wrong?"

Silence follows it... I find no words to defend myself... to defend Usagi-san. Technically thinking, they DID spent their time together more often in a worst place, Usagi-san's room, and specially when I'm leaving around they exchange a very suspicious look. Arriving late while having an excuse that they're talking to someone important.

Every time they told me that...

I believe them.. I worried for nothing then.

I am deceived by them... Betrayed.

Its painful... I can't think of enough words to describe it.

.

.

.

I could hear the bells rang indicating us to go... but neither of us mind to do so.. the student going in and out in the cafeteria... the busy student eating his late lunch...

I know that my class is already starting... that I have been this silent for a long time... that time I have spent crying wont be enough to ease my heart... but right now. I just want sempai to leave me alone.

Head down... letting my tears to fall while looking at the melting ice of my soda with my mind full of thoughts and doubts... I could feel sempai's heavy stares at me... it's irritating... how insensitive and inconsiderate he could be... to think that he's my friend... saying those things so bluntly.

But that's not it... that's not the reason why I'm hurt like this... and I'm completely aware that this the feeling of betrayal is not sempai's fault. It's really complicated, at time like this. What should I normally do?

"You said that Usami-san and your bother is really acting weird but somehow, the reason is still not clear," A heavy sigh escaped from sempai's mouth.

Lifting my head up to look at him, he gave me hopeless sigh again while crossing his arms around his chest. I know he tried to hide it but I could feel, Sempai is dueling his feelings inside... I dont know what it is but surely... sempai even in his decisive look shows a glimpse of guilty and... hurt.

Glass covering his eyes. This time sempai seems like his trying to avoid looking at me... "What I said earlier is just one of the possibility, so"

For a minute I thought my heart jump inside my ribcage... and I immediately forget what I have been thinking about him..." So" for a dump like me... I know that's the only coherent word I could reply but my mind is still wavy with thoughts that I find no time to comprehend his words.

"So it means that I might be wrong"

So Usagi-san might not be lying to me then ... but 'might' is not enough to clear my building suspicion.

"You go home and rest" He carefully stand up to collect his book. "Your dazed. I'll walk you home"

So the walk to Usagi-san's home feels like like decade as I take my time to take each nervous step. Sempai who's been silently walking beside seems buried with his own thoughts too.

Deep inside me is still holding to believe Usagi-san. But what hat Sempai told me make sense. If he what he told me is right, If it is so, the problem is how should I face it?

How should I feel... How should I react that it wont burden any one of them.

But it's frustrating. The anger, the pain, the betrayal I feel is getting stronger enough that it makes my body numb.

"Do you love him?" out of no where, sempai ask.. breaking the silence as we silently walk passing the nearest convenience of Usagi-san't plat.

I hear him ask but I find no voice to answer him instead.. I clench my hand while asking the same question to myself.

Do I really love the lazy pervert?

"If you do then try to be more open Misaki,"

"Why are you doing this?" The only important question that makes me realized right now.

He fell silent. I'm not looking at him so I dont know what expression he was wearing right now. His true self that he decline to expose, is it crumbling?

I cant feel the wanton of checking it myself.

"indeed" he answer... but more like his asking himself the same question. "Your different, just different"

I stop walking when sempai halt, as if my body connected to him. I finally look directly to sempai's eye. Unfathomable, his eyes show no emotion. Eyes still watering, sempai placed his hand at the top my head and gently ruffling my hair. "Don't over work yourself, if something happen, you are always welcome to my house though I only have one futon, I'm afraid we have to share" he smile "Go inside, I'll call you later"

He doesn't wait for me to reply, he turn his back and walk away before I realized that I am now standing in front of Usagi-san's penthouse.

In love, he prefers the dark love where he plays the dark role. But in reality, doing it where you have to hurt the one you love is just too much to handle. Watching Misaki suffers feels like hell.

He wanted to force himself to Misaki. Abduct and lock him so he could have Misaki all by himself. He wanted to be the one to play the bad role in Misaki's life.

But just like a fictional book. It's impossible to do it in reality.

Just like earlier, the regret, pain and anxiety of looking Misaki's pained face is too much for him... No words can describe how much he hated myself for doing it to him.

Really... it's true that love is wonderful for the two people who each other but its hell if it's one sided. To fall in love to hurt like this is just like He killed myself.

He wonders if when he will be able to reborn again. If being reborn means to be shattered again.

"I never thought that your that soft Keiichi"

Keiichi turn his back to face Iijun. He is leaning against the car, arms crossed against his chest. He gave him a very sharp glare. He's in no shape to engage verbal fight.

"Are you giving up on him now?" He asks,

He smiles mockingly "No matter how you try, things cannot be change no matter how you work hard." Keiichi retorts.

Thinking that he losses another rival, Iijun gave him a winning look. He knew from the very first time he met Keiichi that he secretly love Misaki, no matter how he tried to hide it. Maybe, it's because he's in the same boat as him.

"I'll just have to warn you, even if you are Misaki's half ass brother. Emotionally, you cannot force him to marry you."

He snickered, "It's true, we are not blood related, and marriage is possible due to father's will. For the sake of our family, I think Misaki will understand us."

"Then I will have no choice but to abduct Misaki and leave Japan."

"Right, unless Usami will cut your head off before you could even touch Misaki's hair"

"I'm sure Usami-san will cut your dick off before you could even ask for marriage"

"Well just see,"

"Don't bother, Misaki will have his decision before you could even thought of it, you don't know him as much as I do."

Iijun silently grimace. Keiichi knows a lot about Misaki, even his great rival, Usami Akihiko, knows so much about him too, and he hated being in this kind of position where he could only stood silent in front of Keiichi.. Ever since that day. He fell in love with Misaki. He almost give-up to his manga career but Misaki saved him.

He knows deeply that Misaki is Usami's lover. So he just hope this time, he hopes that even just for the sake of their family, Misaki will marry him. Who knows, his fanatic love will really turn into true love.

"He will be mine" Iijun said out loud. Making Keiichi startle. Keiichi know how fertile it is to continue fighting their love, but he never meet this persistent person in his life.

Even if he suffers from broken heart, he unknowingly feel intrigue by how things will end with Kyo Iijun.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

How quickly I gone up to Usagi-san's flat makes me wonder. All that matters now is that I'm already standing in front of the door. Hands itching to insert the key and rush inside and confront the big rabbit, yet I no courage to do so. What if I saw then making out in the couch?

What sort of reaction should I do? "Damn" I curse, maybe backing out right now and think everything first will do but I wind up reaching the door knob.

I fell a little coward of learning the truth but...

I want to know the truth right now. Taking a deep breath I gather all my courage left.

Just when I start to insert the key, the door suddenly swung open, pulling me inside since I'm still holding the knob firmly.

In the other hand, I bumps Usagi-san's strong-wide chest as I loss my balance.

"Misaki"

Usagi-san exclaimed. Whatever his thinking he seemed surprised and relieved when he saw me. He pull me closer to hug me tightly. "Usagi-san" I called. Burying my face in his chest I could smell the faint smell of cigarette and cologne, then I just realized that my body feels so cold that his warmth is slowly making me feel vulnerable without him.

Slowly not hurrying, my hands found their way up to Usagi-san's back, clenching the fabric. Usagi-san's heart beating. I wonder why its so fast.. I wonder who makes it beat so fast like this.

Whatever, I dont care anymore... just a little longer...

... just a little bit longer...

...Just let me feel the warmth in his arms...

Slowly, I close my eyes... my mind... feeling this fleeting moment of calmness... as it swept me away from reality... from bitterness...

* * *

><p><strong><em><span>Akihiko's POV<span>_**

"Hiruki called me saying your not in class, knowing you, you never ditch in class before so I got worried and I'm my way to go and look for you"

Stupid. He know that Misaki is on his way home. He called one of the man he hired to guard Misaki secretly but after knowing that his with Sumi... he became restless and fear engulf his entire being.

Even if his holding Misaki in my arms is still not enough to calm my heart. Each minutes, the restlessness and insecure he feel is profusely increasing.

Did Sumi reveals _that_ to Misaki?

"Misaki, do you love me?" I ask, my voice so stern with pure seriousness. I felt him shifted then relaxed. He didn't answer quickly but he muttered something incoherent as he snuggled closer. "Misaki, do you love me?" I repeat but again he only answer me the same useless sound. "Do you love me?" I desperately asks. "Do you love me or not?"

"I don't know... I don't know but I don't want you... I don't want you to stop loving me."

Eyes widen, my breath hitched as my heart leaps in surprise,. This is the first selfish thing I heard from Misaki's mouth,.

The uncontrollable blissful feelings that's making all the negative emotions I feel earlier magically disappear.

He lift his flushed face up, tears threatening to fall, green eyes begging and his body trembling out of embarrassment. "What's going between you too? What's making both of you acts strange?"

"Misaki" I whispers his name... doesn't he realized it yet that his the only person I allowed myself to enter my life, my future and shaken every bit of my heart. Is he really this stupid?

"Do you still love him?" he winced, I know whatever his thinking must be tearing him inside.

"Misaki" I cupped his face with both of my hand,. Things are getting harder and harder for me to handle..yet... I kiss him... pressing my lips to his.. I have to tighten my relationship with him and to have him know my position to his life... before it's too late...

"I love you" I said between our kiss. "I love you and no one else" I felt his arms tightens around me. "Lovers... You'll be my lover... and I'm yours. You own me as much as I own you."

"How can we be lovers? Stupid." Misaki pulled away and snap, making an unsuccessful angry growl. Blushing hard as I claim his lips again.

"What should I do to become yo-"

He didn't wait for me to finished. He pushed me away and successfully escape from my hug. "D-date... we still haven't date."

Then again I found myself surprise, just by his simpleness, he could made my heart go crazy. Even if Misaki is on his back. I could imagine the bright color red that beautifully painted Misaki's cheek, while his rubbing his mouth to wipe all the evidence of my kiss. I grab my coat that I drop unnoticed.

"Lets go" his arms and shot the door behind us. I drag him inside the elevator. It's been so long since I spend time alone with Misaki. The door is already close when Misaki innocently asks me "Where are we going"

I smile greatly... "Where going to date"

* * *

><p><em><strong><span>Misaki's POV<span>**_

We go to beach, watched movie, we visits new stores and Usagi-san's brought me a suit to have dinner in one of the most expensive restaurant... It's very fun. Usagi-san is... Usagi-san after all.

Now that where in our final destination, the ferris wheel.

Looking outside the window, escaping Usagi-san's stares. He is sitting in front of me and I secretly appreciates the silence that reigning inside the small and crump car.

When he said he loves me, I doubted him.. that whatever he say might be a lie... but seeing him like that, desperate and scared of something I am not aware... I feel like believing him...

No.

I believe him.

But the insecurities I feel right now is still troubling.

I want to be someone worthy for Usagi-san's love.

I want to be the one always giving love because all this time, until now, I'm always the one whose been receiving.

"I think I love you." I said out loud. The scenery below us is wonderful. It's already late but still the lights of the buildings, vehicles and headlights are quiet lively.

The sound of the wind and creaking metal only answers me.

I finally decided to look at Usagi-san. He looks at me but this time he smiles at me contently... yet even if tried to ignore the lust and love slowly fueling the passion I felt inside me. I blushed. The place feels so hot suddenly with embarrassment.

"I love you too" Usagi-san replies. Happiness cannot be hide in his baritone voice.

"I know"

"Kiss me," he command.

"Dont talk stupid things."

"It's not stupid"

Clenching my hands on my knee. I close my eyes. Embarrassment and nervousness is making my heart beat so loud in my ears. I wonder if Usagi-san could hear it. "I know" I muttered between my sigh.

It's hot but I feel there's no sweat in my body, while my hand is so cold.

I cant just do it. Kissing him is not that simple thing to do. I takes time and years to master it.

I feel him stand, and kneel in front of me. Still closing my eyes, he cupped my face with both of his hands.

Strange.

His usual cold and big hands... feels so warm in my skin. I wonder if its because where inside the ferris wheel.

My body stiffened then relaxed to his touch, taking my time to open my eyes, Usagi-san warm breath tangled against mine. His face is only inches away from me. "Misaki, I'm going to kiss you" he said. As if he asks me when he always kiss me. I close my eyes again and parted my lips for his entrance.

His tongue entered and thrust against mine. His hands pulling me deeper in his slow and gentle kiss.

Usagi-san always spoils me, his the one who always do all the giving. In pleasure or in other things.

I still haven't even paid him in hospital bill yet.

How shameful..

I tried to pull him away but I it's not that easy thing to do. I have to use all my force to escape from his gasp.

"S-someone might see us." I lamely excuse. Knowing that where in the highest part of the ferris wheel.

"No need to worry, I rented the entire car here" He smile smugly.

Just as I thought.

I dont like flattering myself but... really ... When it comes to me, Usagi-san will go overboard.

"I want to do it" I want to be the one taking the initiatives, this time for sure. I push Usagi-san back, having him no choice but to stand and go back to his sits.

Maybe he understand my intention, yet he never utter a single word.. I just feel his breath quicken when I kneel down in font of him and parted his legs and place myself between his thigh. My heart is pounding and my hands' shaking nervously but its not enough to make me stop.

"Misaki, are you sure?" He asks. I look up to face him with full of determination. Even in his lustful eyes, gentleness still prevails.

"Y-yeah, idiot" I look down, my face feels so hot.. er... no, its more like burning in embarrassment. I start opening his zipper with my trembling hands. Usagi-san gently put his hands on my head and gently massage my scalp and it feels so good that I moan out his name.

He chuckled.

Getting agitated by his destruction, I quickly open his zipper and pull down his pants and boxer with all force.  
>There stand his huge partner.. It's getting even harder when I stared at it with eyes widen in surprise.<p>

"Misaki we better hurry" Usagi-san said. "Suck it"

Like a good boy I duck down and open my mouth big enough to insert him. Usagi-san made a loud pleasured noise. I wasn't even half of his member. I release him quickly and licked his cock from base to top. His grips on my hair tighten as I suddenly swallowed him full.

"W-watch the teeth Misaki" Usagi-san groan. Motivated by his reaction I move up slowly and quickly move down, drooling all over his dick it made a squished sound.

"S-sorry Misaki but I cant hold on any longer"

Holding my head firmly he thrust his cock hardly in my mouth, gaining a loud moan that reverberates inside the car.

I nearly choke but I feel great giving him pleasure. He thrusts again hard and fast, he leaned his head back in ecstasy, moaning like animal in heat. His dick goes in and out of my mouth and the thought of it makes me hard. Not complaining, I open my mouth widely letting him thrust in and out almost violently.

Then he does one last yet deep thrust in my mouth before a long yet rough moan escape from Usagi-san's mouth. Salty liquid spluttered inside my mouth, choking me. I gag out some of them some I swallowed as I tried to regain my breathing again.

I don't know how I manage to breath earlier but this time I feel like my face is covered by his sticky substance.

Usagi-san, as he felt back to to his senses, he duck down and lick the side of my mouth where the excess amount of his essence remain.

"That's why don't turn me on so much." he blamed and kiss me apologetically.

"You'll pay for this." I angrily retort. Now I feel regret for making this mess all over me.

He smirks. "Later, we need to clean up first." He gave me one more soft kiss in my forehead before leaning back and pulled back his boxers and pants. He help me clean up,. I'm still agonizing about what he did but more like what I did.

It's so frikin' embarrassing. I could die right now.

* * *

><p>How we get in this luxurious hotel room and how he strip me and throw me in the bed is not my concern anymore. The only thing inside my mind is his touch that burns my bodyand his voice that's different from his usual one. The pleasure and pain that I never get used no matter how many times we did this.,<p>

It's maddening how

This possessive...

This selfishness...

This feelings that I can't even properly express could make me want ... to know more...

More of him... all of him... His annoying existence that slowly yet greatly become part of me...

I love this bastard.

Yeah that's it... I could blame everything that happens to me... in love.

Dawn is almost near yet I still couldn't sleep, even Usagi-san don't feel like sleeping either. I'm so tired. My body is aching but I feel at ease... we are hugging tightly as if someone will come to separate us,I snuggled closer to him, pressing my cheeks more to his sweaty chest. His heart beat this time is calmer and loud. I found myself intoxicated by this moment. The smell of sex is all over the place and I still feel so sticky yet I dont feel like washing nor yelling to him for this mess. "If where really lovers now, then promise me Usagi-san" I said with a weak and lazy tone.

"What is it?" He ask... pressing our body closer.

I blushed as I feel him hard again on my stomach. "Promise me first"

"Yeah okay"

"No more cigarette."

He muttered. "That's stupid" running his hands from my back to my hips and gently squeeze my butt. I pinched him hard in his chest. Making him curse silently. "No more secrets" I look at him seriously.

He gently batted my hands then kiss it softly. "No more secret from Misaki?" eye brows up, he look at me with playfully.

"Honesty is good in a relationship. So no more lies." I explain... Usagi-san push me so I have my back in the bed. Holding both of my wrists, pinned them both sides. My annoyed noise is replaced by aroused moan when he kiss me passionately. He pulled away when we run out of breath and Usagi-san leaned on my chest.

It's frantic.

His heart is beating frantically... "You turn me on and I want to do you again." he said.

I gather all my strength left to retorts... "Tell me what you and niichan hiding from me?"

"Misaki"

"Your important to me so I am worried... I'm worried because I love you." I blurted out... "...and I love niichan too and sempai too and Aikawa-san too..."

A moment of silence replace my nervous laugh... the only sound I could hear is Usagi-san's rugged breathing and our heart beating. His grips on my wrists are slowly move to hold my hands firmly. I wait for him to answer. Wondering how difficult the problem he had with niichan.

Could I even help them if I knew?

"You'll only get upset Misaki" Usagi-san warns in a soft whisper.

"What-"

Usagi-san swiftly moved away and sat up in the edge of the bed, making it sink with his weight. I sat up and and covered the lower part of my body. I watch Usagi-san's back and shoulders slump.

"The only thing that I don't want to happen is being hated by you Misaki, so I held back my feelings. I am so worried and jealous with everything that come close with you. I was afraid that if I continue like this, I might not be able to control myself anymore enough that I might restrict you, but..."

Even if it so dark, even if I could not see his face... in his voice... in Usagi-san's voice, shaken by pain ... sullen... yet I felt the warmth of love that cannot be hide.

"But I found myself feel stupid by the idea..." Usagi-san run his own hand in his hand. " I realized. The only thing I never want to happen... is losing you Misaki... I thought that losing you is okay as long as I know your happy for it but... this is stupid ... it scares me. Knowing that someone might come and take your life... take you away from me... scares me. I dont want to even think about it, so I keep it a secret from you because I love... so I secretly protects you... I looked every hints to find the culprit but I still cant find him. I feel useless-"

Shock and surprised, Usagi-san stop talking. I felt him stiffed by my touch. He sound so angry and disparates when he talks. Scared and worried. He even realized that I crawled and slowly wrap my arms around him, not before I hug him tightly .

It's true that it really surprised me about his revelations but...

I never knew that...

...all this time...

...all this time...

Usagi-san is suffering for my sake...

All this time his been in pain and troubled for my sake...

Yet...

All this time I've been doubting him and for now the only thing that I can do for him is...

_..."It's okay"_

Assured him.

I press my forehead in his back and tighten my grips so he wont let go easily. "Everything will be fine" I assured. Usagi-san really loves me...

...and I'm intoxicated by his love..

"Someone tried to kill you aren't you scared? Angry that I kept it silent?"

I nodded from behind... " Why would I feel scared when your here to protect me, angry when your only thinking for my sake? You see, it's okay because I love you. It's alright to be more selfish."

"There's still more that you haven't heard yet. You might get angry to me if you heard them all"

"Sheesh... Usagi-san your such an idiot, worrying something stupid again"

"It's not stupid" Usagi-san replied solemnly, but somehow I felt him relaxed. I felt his big cold hands covered mine, holding it firmly

"I know" I replied with same solemnity,

Without any more word, silently, we sleep the rest of the night peacefully... and when I woke up...

His smile face shows contentment and confidence and I helplessly thought that

'oh the pervert Usagi is back.'

I am so happy.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"I see... So niichan and sempai knows already know about this... strange how come I haven't noticed at all." Misaki wonders..

He surely take everything easy. His reaction is quiet contrary to what I have expected. I also prepared my self to receives all his wrath for tampering his life again and prepared to comfort him but I never... somehow he shows no anxiety.

Does this kid really understand what I'm saying?

"I'm telling you this again, Misaki. Takahiro is not your biological brother. He isn't YOUR brother so your parents are not your real parents." I repeats what we already discussed in the hotel. We were heading back to the penthouse and currently waiting for the green light to flash.

He fell silent at first after hearing this, the rest he turn illegible.

"It's okay"

"Misaki"

"Usagi-san this is something niichan and I should talk about. Dont worry too much. Everything is fine."

Just as I thought.

Saying that everything will be alright is Misaki's specialty. If I nag him more he might break and I dont know if I could fix him.

Maybe, doing too much for him... making him suffocates. I don't want him that. I sigh before turning the engine as green light finally flash.

There's only one thing that he doesn't know.

Iijun's father's will.

I honestly understand that he will eventually know this but I felt frustration building up whenever I thought about it.

Jealousy and fear.

I dont want him to know because knowing Misaki he would probably jump in the trap happily.

I hate that man... Iijun deals a greater danger for Misaki and me.

I really have a bad feelings about this.

Then I suddenly remembers the heated talk I had with him.

_After a several knocks and press on the buzzer The door finally swung open revealing a grumpy and tall dark haired man. "Lets talk" I said without giving him my name. As soon as I got his address from Aikawa I drop myself here without second thoughts._

_He doesn't loosk so surprised when he saw me. He looks at me as if his taking measures before he widened the door inviting me in his room._

_I silently walk in. The rooms so nice and clean. Pleasant and warm. Something that Misaki loves to stay._

_I grimaced. I heard him closed the door and walk towards me. I'm not facing him so I'm not sure what face his wearing but the tension between us is slowly getting stronger._

_"Please have sit." he said._

_"No thanks I'll stand." I refuse his offer. The thoughts of touching his things makes my want to take shower because of disgusts._

_"Tea?" he offered again_

_"Who is Misaki's attacker ?" I blurt out. Arms crossed and face looks so seriously irritated._

_He chuckled before dropping down on the couch, "Getting down to business, your no fun Usami-sensie"_

_I tried not to get pissed. "What else do you know about Misaki?"_

_"Why dont we just meet two days from now? There are things that I cant explain without 'his' lawyer" he said crossing both his legs._

_Lawyer huh?_

_I was about to retort when my phone suddenly broke the tension. I dont know if I want to be thankful whoever interfered but one thing is for sure this trying to pissed me off._

_...and he surely getting on my nerves._

_I flip my phone open only to find Shinoda's ID number. "Hello?" I quickly answer it._

_I gave a sly look on Iijun's face as I listen to Shinoda's report. "Really that's good to hear" Pleased by his report I smiled at him goofily._

_I saw him scowl as he thought I am ignoring his presence. "...no lets meet now. The same place." Turning off the phone and putting it back to my packet. I feel like my problem are slowly getting its resolves._

_"Thank you for your time, Kyo-sensie but I guess I wont be needing your help anymore." I nonchalantly said._

_He snickered and stands to meet my eyes. I'm about to say good bye when suddenly out of reasons I felt cold chill that run through my spine._

_"Two days from now in Teito restaurant at 3:30. Let's meet there" smiling wickedly his voice sounds so stern and highly suspicious._

_"What are you hiding?"I ask glaring at him sharply. If he want to prove something why proving it now. I could just have leave and left him feel devastated and pissed off but..._

_His eyes..._

_"You'll see" _

_... a threat... his a threat._

_0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*00*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*_

_..._

_Shinoda called saying he finally got the strong lead about Misaki's attacker. The one who has strong motive for Misaki's death. So talking to him will only be useless than trash, knowing his intention, he might as well trying to get Misaki. _

_I wont allow that..._

_That guy's look. It bothers me a lot. His action tells every bit of me that he holds a trump card._

_What is it? _

_What the hell is it? Damn it!_

_I gritted my teeth in annoyance. Slamming my hands on the steering wheel. I am waiting for Shinoda to enter the restaurant by watching inside my car. I loss my composure when I leave his apartment. I'm pretty sure that staying there longer will only tempt me to crushed his arrogant face._

_I hate it when I loss control. It's only making me taste defeat._

_Waiting to cool my head I reach my cigarette box in the dashboard to lit another stick of cigarette but I ended up fisting it furiously._

_It's empty..._

* * *

><p><em>"The documents had been switched finely. Tadashi Misaki was a stillborn child of Tadashi family while Takahashi Misaki, child of Takahashi family. Apparently, that's what the document say's. With their money and power, switching their babies and documents are not impossible. <em>

_After Tadashi Misaki born her family business were at stake. At that time even Tadashi Arai- properties is not enough to accommodate._

_They have large dept by Iijun's foster father, for repayment she was force to married him by her father_

_She finally severed her ties from him and now she's living alone. She properly get back all the properties of Tadashi _family and finally get her freedom."__

_Shinoda pause to sip his green tea. His silky brown hair swayed as he glance at the window suddenly. _

_I followed his gaze. _

_It's raining hard outside.._

_My hands are cold and I found nothing to think about except... _

_"She has cancer. The doctor said that there's a little chance to survive it but she refuses to grab it. She has no hope. I tried to talk to her but it's impossible to get close to Tadashi family easily. So it's the doctor and old made gave this information to me and its reliable _

__There is one person that has clear motives. Tadashi Akuma, Kyo Hana's half brother."__

_Misaki' sake. _

_"If she die all of Tadashi's inheritance will be named to Tadashi Akuma but if Takahashi Misaki showed up everything he works for will become useless."_

___All about money then,..___

______Misaki's life in exchange of inheritance. How absorb. How pathetic a human could be.______

______"We got the culprit but we have no strong evidence, yet." I said. He only nod before giving his another report. ______

______"It's about Kyo Iijun and Keiichi Sumi. They have no common relationship except their father's are great companions."______

______"Are you sure about that?" ______

____________"Yes sir,"____________

____________"well then, I call you again tomorrow, do all you can do to collect a conclusive evidence and call me immediately if you do, then will take certain action."____________

_"Understood" _

_He stood and bowed before departing. Leaving me in deep thoughts. I threaten all my publishing company that I will resign if they wont give a vacation leave so I have all time of the world with Misaki._

_That's what I want to think. _

_If this things will pass I will definitely make up with Misaki ALONE._

_ALONE..._

_I will mess him up all day... all weeks.. everyday._

_I will make him sore in pleasure until he wont be able to walk so he wont meet up with the bastards Sumi and Iijun._

_I will definitely protects him..._

_Not long when I decided to stand and leave after paying the bill. The heavy rain still pouring, making everything dull. _

__I lifted my hands catch few of the drops of rains on my palm... The rain is slowly soaking in my coat and wetting my hair yet I didn't bother me a little...__

__I feel hesitant ... For Misaki's sake, what are the better choice left for me to choose?...__

_or is it just I dont have right to choose it for him... _

_Misaki will broke. _

__A broken Misaki will be my curse for eternity.__

______How long does this heavy rain to continue to pour? ______

______When will this rain stop pouring?______

* * *

><p><em>"So you decided to come after all." Kyo Iijun said as I entered the private part of the restaurant. He decided to monopolized the time and place. Foods are already served on the table. <em>

_Their are four chairs and two of them are occupied by him and the other bald meddle age man who's sitting beside him. He stand in greeted me before sinking back to his chair._

____His drinking a glass of wine while smirking at me. "come and sit, foods here are really delicious." ____

_"I dont have time for something thing stupid so spill it out" I snort, not minding to sit on the waiting chair._

_"Your really no fun at all" he said nonchalantly glaring at the empty glass wine. The person next to him seems like recognize me immediately. _

_"We were expecting for another important person to come, why don't you sit here and wait till he arrive" The middle age man said. gesturing me to sit which only added my irritation. _

_Who does this old geezer think of himself? _

_"Shut up old man" I gritted my teeth. Just watching their faces make my body boiled in irritation. _

_I came here not because I want to anyway. This might be his sick way to humiliate me. How dare him!_

__I heard something heavy drop from behind me but I never paid so much attention. _"I'm leaving" _I turn around to leave but only to chocked in surprised... __

_"Usagi-"_

_My breath hitch and my heart pound loudly. _

_"I'm glad everyone is assembled." Iijun's voice cuts the nervous stare that we exchange with the comer. We've been stunned for whole minute looking at each other's nervous eyes. _

_I spun around to look at him... _

_A winning smile flashed slyly. Curse him! This is his intention from the beginning!_

_"Why are you here?" he ask... I glance back at Takahiro. He looks so pale and afraid. His voice is trembling a little as he tried to stay stand firmly in front of me. _

_I sigh to lessen the tension that building inside my chest. If there someone who want to sink right now it is me._

_I'm about to explain when he suddenly interrupts. "To know to what you need to know too." he stand _

_I am not that stupid to remain silence and let this moron to screw everything. "Let's go Takahiro."_

__"But-"__

__I grab his arm and start dragging his out of the room, "It's okay. Lets go"__

____Just when we reach the door he suddenly spat loudly __"Takahashi Misaki and I will get married with/without Takahashi Takahiro's authority."__

__Not gaining a hold of myself Takahiro exclaimed ... "What-!"__

__... he cut him off by saying something that we dont dare to hear from him "...or shall I say Tadashi Misaki."__

__...something I tried not to get Takahiro heard.__

__My heart skip a beat.__

__His lawyer decided to talk after watching our heated conversation. "Let me explain properly..." He grab some document in his velvet brief case and hand it to me after standing up and walk toward us. His baldly head shines as he approached. __

__"Kyo Maou... according to his will, Hana's daughter Misaki Takahashi will marry his foster son, Kyo Iijun as compensation of giving back all Tadashi's properties. The document has Hana-sama's seal on it. , saying that she approve to his conditions. Everything in the document is legal and approved by both parties so all we needed right now is Miss Misaki's approval." __

_I snort and look glare at both of them and threw the papers at the lawyers chest "Misaki is a MAN and he wont agree marrying him"_

_Takahiro agreed making both of them frown. _

___"This is his life, he is not someone you can manipulate" Takahiro said proudly. He raise Misaki proudly.___

___Iijun gave a respectful look at Takahiro "Misaki is a Tadashi. His blood thats running through his veins belongs to Tadashi family at least perhaps let him know this. He deserves to know this even if it hurts him." ___

______Dumbfounded bu Iijun's words Takahiro fell silent and and lowered his eyes.______

______I know he has some point but...______

______"Misaki wont agree with that selfish arrangement besides. It's foolish to continue,. That document is void, Miksai is a man and they cant get married."______

______I wont hand Misaki no matter what the cost. Even if this things will reach the court.______

______He chuckled mockingly. "Unless both parties participate willingly... gender is not a problem to me. We can get married in Canada." he said and looks at me with his dark arrogant eyes.______

______My expression darkens more. ______

______It's a challenge. ______

______His eyes are inviting me a challenge.______

______"He wont accept it because Misaki is in love with me... he had proved it and even if he knew every effort that you do will be in vain."______

______Everyone in the room fell silent even Takahiro looks so surprise mouth open and shock by my revelation. ______

____________Iijun doesn't look so surprise yet his expression change... he looks so pissed.____________

____________The lawyer just look at me with unbelievable word's written all over his face.____________

____________"That how it is so give it up because I love him too."____________

____________I grab Takahiro's briefcase and drag him out of the room. Leaving both of them with my finishing lines.____________

____________I want to end this problem so bad and now I ended it up worser than I ever thought. I pushed Takahiro inside my car and slam it close. I open the driver seat hastily and sit inside the car. ____________

________________________"It's a lie right?" Takahiro asks. His voice is cracking with agony.________________________

________________________________________________Lean my head on the stirring wheel and drew a deep breath before looking at him. In his dark swollen eyes with tears.________________________________________________

________________________________________________I felt a sharp pain as I look at him. I hated looking at him in pain.________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________"It's no lie" I admitted. "We both love each other, Takahiro. I'm sorry"________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________"Since when?" ________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________"Since the day we first met"________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________"How?"________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________"I dont know"________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________"Why?"________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________"It is because it meant to happen"________________________________________________________________________________________________

_..._

_He take his glass off and lean against the car seat. Closing his eyes firmly and turning away from me. I felt bad. This isn't what I want. I plan to to tell him in a right time. Takahiro , even if I dont love him romantically anymore. His still be important to me. _

_Seeing him in pain makes me feel in pain too._

_"Sorry"_

_I apologized. Instead of pain, why dont he get angry? _

_Then it will be more easy for me suffer._

_"Sorry" I repeats._

_Rain start falling again, his faint sobs that he failed to hide... his trembling shoulder and the hissing sound of the rain... all of it is the only sound I could here. The only sound I don't dare to here again._

____The stung of guilty and pain...____"How can you keep all of this to me Usagi, dont you trust me even as a friend? as Misaki's bother?________" he asks. The bitterness in his voice that somehow I wish his not Takahiro.________________

________The lively and full of life Takahiro.________

________________My grip on the stirring wheel tightens "...I'm scared of everything that comes between us, Takahiro. I love your brother even if it destroy me" my voice shows remorse and fear. ________________

_He fell silent. We let our self get swallowed by our own thoughts. Feeling each others presence._

_The minutes and hours pass but none of us broke the silence... I cant find any word to say than sorry, repeatedly saying this to him till finally he said __"Lets go home... Let's not tell about this to Misaki first." He said.___

_It took me awhile before starting the engine. _

_I glance at him on more time. I dont feel regret on confessing the truth. I love Misaki and I will do everything even hurting the one he dear . _

_The one I dear. _

_Again I failed to protect them..._

_...from my selfishness.._

_...from my insecurities.._


	15. Chapter 15

_Chibi-chan please get well soon... _

Chapter Fifteen

"Misaki-chan" I hug Misaki tightly.

I am worried for both Misaki and Usagi so I stayed up for whole night waiting for them to come back. After Akihiko called saying that Misaki and him are staying in a hotel for the night I cant help but think that something might happen.

I still cant understand the love that Usagi had for Misaki nor the love Misaki had for him. It's just really illogical and irrational. I know and hear a lot of homosexuality. I met plenty of them in my life. I don't hate them, it's more like I dont care about them and their lives but for it to happen in Misaki is like a deja vu.

I cant even believe it.

The secret that my parents work hard to keep... I work hard to keep were suddenly opened by them.

"Misaki-chan" I tearfully rub my cheek to Misaki's hair. My brother's hair. I cant afford to loss my only brother.

Misaki start trembling and my hugged tighten by the thought of losing him but he doesn't pushed me away "Niichan!" I hear him call my name.

His unusual reaction brought fear and suspicion to me.

"Takahiro, lets go inside first so you two could have a decent talk." Akihiko said gesturing us to go inside. We were standing at the front door.

"y-yeah sure I bet your hungry, sorry"

* * *

><p>I'm glad I cooked break fast even in my stressed state.<p>

Akihiko and Misaki silently eat their breakfast. Their silentness is making me nervous. I am worried and afraid, I know that it might come to the point that Usagi will tell Misaki everything without my consent.

What should I do?

Should I open up first?

What if I said something not right?

This thoughts ended by Misaki's soft sigh. "Niichan, do you have time?"

I felt my heart stop as he asks me, making me unable to breath for a moment... "O-of course"

Misaki and I started cleaning and washing the dishes while Usagi is having a smoke in the couch.

This is the first time that we silently do the dishes together. How should I react later? Whatever he plan to tell me I must really accept and act as good big brother to him. Whether it'll hurt me or not.

After finishing the dishes, Misaki ushered me to Akihiko's study room to have privacy. Akihiko in the other hand, watched as we slowly ascend the stairs.

He look so nervous and worried too. I could see his shoulder tense as we approached the study room. The sound of our foots step are the only noise that broke the chilly silence.

I watched as he open the door silently and get inside. I followed him and close the door behind me.

* * *

><p>Misaki's sobs makes my body turn by reflex.<p>

"Misaki" Big drops of tears decorates the floor. Worried and pain of seeing Misaki crying, I hurriedly hugged and prison him inside my arms, holding him tightly. I felt his tears starts soaking my shirt. His hands on my chest curl into tight balls.

"Misaki" I called his name painfully. I suddenly cant hold back my own tears any longer. My shoulder's shakes as I begun crying with Misaki.

For the first time in my life I felt like I failed to be Misaki's brother. I failed to protect him from this. I'm so useless...

I already know that I cant hide everything from Misaki. That no matter what I do, he will learn the truth sooner or later but fears keeps me from making me afraid and I constantly hiding myself from the truth. Pain and anxiety took over me that I let myself forget this cruel reality.

That Misaki is not my brother.

That Misaki will soon leave my life.

That Misaki will loath me.

That Misaki will hate himself...

Misaki is the only one left to me.

I carried all the heavy guilt of forsaking his better future in the hands of Tadashi family. After our parents died. Misaki's uncle tried to adopt him. Not only his uncle but also his mother's adopted son, Kyo Iijun. Misaki is so young that he thought that everyone in the funeral was our relatives but in the truth half of them are Tadashi's personal body guard and I was glad back then. I was glad that Misaki is so innocent and dependent to me back then.

But was it a right decision or was it just my own selfishness?

Misaki who always been giving me so much strength to live even until Manami's death?

Is this going to be over now?

Is this goodbye?

"S-sorry" Misaki said between his sobs. His trembling body stiffed under my arms. "I-I took everything away from you" Misaki's voice sound carried deep remorse and pain and it makes my body stunned. "I t-took away... your dreams... your better future-.. and... and... your ... p-parents" Misaki starts hyperventilating, crying so hard enough that he cant breath.

... Why are so selfless? Cant you try to think of your self first before me. Before I realize, gentle smile curved on my lips as the same warmth that crept when Misaki's word sank on my head.

But...

"Misaki"

... whom I'd grown to be this genuinely wonderful makes me very proud.

The Misaki-chan who tried so hard to be independent and reliable. Tried so hard so that he wont be causing me trouble.

Don't you still know... I'm glad your my precious little brother.

His knees gave in and we both drop on the floor, still hugging him I gathered all my will to release my own feelings hoping that it will reach Misaki's understanding.

Hoping that with this, I could spare him from pain...

"Misaki, you didn't do anything to cause me misfortunes. Everything I did, I did it because your my brother. Your the precious son of mom and dad. Ever since you came into our life, Misaki, you always brought us happiness that heals our pain and sorrow after losing _her. _Your my brother. Mom and dad's son. You save us. We love you. More than your blood relatives. More than any biological explanations. The bonds we share is greater and stronger than anything in world."

He continue sobs. . .

"Besides is normal for oniichan to ensure his precious little brother his future?"

Misaki top sobbing for a mere second then suddenly, he warped his arms around me. Burying his face on my chest and begun crying silently.

"O-oniichan" he called... making me cry again.

"Misaki"

* * *

><p>The door bell rang endlessly waking me up from my deep and calming sleep. It's been a while since I sleep like this and reason for it is Misaki.<p>

He is sleeping like a baby beside me. He curled into circle like a cat and he sleeps soundly, I wonder if he does't get enough sleep last night. I cooed, Misaki is just like a baby cat.

The bell rang again making me jump out of the bed. It'll be bad if it disturb Misaki's sleeping. Yawning, I got up only to find a white sheet of blanket that our body.

I smiled.

Usagi put this to us when we were dead tired and fell asleep on the floor, he also carried us to the bed himself. The man is really a good person.

The bell rang again, reminding me to go down stairs.

Not minding taking my glass on I hurried down stairs. My vision blurred a bit but I continue to walk to the entrance. Now that the heavy burden has finally lifted, I feel like flying any moment soon., The only problem left is Iijun's monkey business, Misaki's orientation and Misaki's killer.

I sigh heavily.

It's not time to relax yet.

"I'm coming" I called out to the impatient visitor. The bell stop ringing. I comb my hair with my hand before I open the door without hesitation. Usagi said that the killer cant get inside the building anyway, I dont really understand half of his explanation but what matters most is Misaki's safety and Usagi assured me his safety.

Tall. Well built. A man.

My brows furrowed as I study his face more. I eye tears as I force to clear my vision. "Hello, what can I help you?"

He looks at me a mere second before answering. His strong and baritone voice rings on my ears "Hi, I'm Akihiko's elder brother. Haruhiko Usami. Is he here?"

It put me a minute before answering. His black suit and wide chest stunned me "His upstairs, why dont you come in and have a tea?" I offered.

I know Usagi has a half elder brother but I never met him in person. So this is his brother.

"I will really appreciate you offer" he said.

I gave him a good smile and widened the door, letting him go inside. He carried two big traveler bag. "Do you plan on staying?" I ask. Closing the door behind me.

He took time before answering, "Yeah, am I disturbing-"

"ah no! of course not! you can stay here." I cooed. Leading him in the living room. I hear him followed me silently. His heavy stairs starts making me conscious.

"I'll go upstairs to call him" I offered.

He hum in agreement before sitting on the sofa. His big traveling bag on his side. Arms crossed on his chest.

I hurried upstairs, almost stumble as I did.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Haruhiko POV<strong>_

I watched as the guy almost lost his balance on the stairs and as always it doesn't make me concern. What concern me now is Akihiko's decision. I know coming here is like suicide and it hurts my pride but all of my savings and belongings are all confiscated. Even my personal savings that I securely kept.

I grow to hate my father more. His pinching me to death so I will go back to him and I decided long ago that I wont be riding on his wings anymore.

I want to be more like Akihiko.

Free.

It really surprise me though that stupid fantasy could gave him a list a decent life. Its my first time being here in his house. The flat looks clean and pleasant. A definite opposites on what I expects it to be. Knowing his lazy attitude. He might not know how to eat on his own.

Perhaps a maid? hell no.

Akihiko is a private person. Yet whose that guy anyway? His lover? The couch I sit in though it disgust me feels so comfortable and clean. and the coffee table and other furniture are what Akihiko would prefer.

Simple. . . No simpler than what he had ten years ago.

This worth anything.

Not long after the man storm back sighing his apologies.

"I'm really sorry, Akihiko's out to buy some cigarette. I haven't noticed his note in his door earlier. Sorry"

"It's okay. I can wait"

"ah.. I'm sorry we can get your things upstairs sorry for keep you waiting" The man said, he begun taking the trunk.

While I stand in surprise he starts talking with a small yet pleasant smile on his face. I am taking aback at first but I found my self feels so comfortable at the man's presence.

"I'm Takahiro Takahashi by the way can I call you Haru-san?"

_Haru-san__?_

not answering his question I ask as I followed him upstairs. "Where are you taking my things?" I felt a sudden pang of nervousness not by his actions but by the upcoming disaster if Akihiko will know this.

Well yeah I anticipated that much before coming here but...

for stranger to do this... what the hell happen to him..

"To your room. Usagi-san has plenty of vacant room here."

"But-"

"It's okay.. I know Usagi-san wont mind, after all he let us stay here with him."

Akihiko? But why?

Takahiro slyly sigh. I hesitantly followed him inside the room. Its empty and no furniture inside yet its unusually clean.

Other rooms are the same. The man Takahiro ended up giving his room to me that I eventually decided to accept. Of course I dont feel bad taking his room from him. What I feel bad is Akihiko's reaction later.

After taking my things in _my _room he invited me in for a cup of tea. I learn so much after when we talk. He said he is Akihiko's former classmate and friend. Their apartment was burn and now Akihiko is salvaging them until they found their new apartment.

Perhaps I should feel a little bit relieved that they were here. Maybe I could make them help me convince Akihiko to let me stay here.

...and so I can take a next step for my

"Niichan"

Plan.

A messy chocolate haired young man descending from the stairs while rubbing his eyes furiously called his brother with his sleepy soft voice.

Stunned. Mind went black. I let my mouth open in gawk as he the person took his last step to the floor.

"Misaki" Takahiro called from the kitchen. "Fix yourself upstairs we have guest"

"Guest?" His head turn up and his green luxurious eyes grew hugely as he saw the me. For the first time in my life I found myself feel my blood rushes in rapid speed making my heart beats so fast.

Dont know what this feelings are for but right now I really thing his so damn cute.

I want to say something yet my word remain clinging on my tongue.

A moment of silence he remain looking at me. His brows arc in deep thoughts mouth curl in obvious nervous smile. Yet, like before he ask me in polite manner ... "I'm sorry, but did we met somewhere before?"

I dont know how small Japan is but I never expects to see him in all the fucking place, here? But disappointment cant be denied, I thought he could remember me right away.

"I suppose not"

If not telling him is right decision or not is not really bothered me, what making my stomach churn is the thought that this boy is actually the younger brother of the guy Takahiro.

He keep boasting how his young brother good at cooking and if I remember correctly he even mention him sleeping upstairs in.

My attention pulled buy his swollen eyes.

"I'm terribly sorry." The guy Takahiro emerge from what I think a kitchen because the spatula in his right hand. He seem to hear us talking. "Misaki-chan come on fix yourself"

Misaki who immediately get fluster makes a good conscious dash upstairs after saying his apologies for his rude appearance to the guest.

My gaze followed him as he disappeared inside the first door upstairs. Loud thud of door closed and noisy thoughts and unease heart beating.

I dont know whats happening to me.

* * *

><p><strong>I dont know what will happen next... what do you think? I am very lazy lately and I starting to think that I rather read than write but not finishing this story makes me feel '<span>worst than trash' <span>(Takano's words) so I decided to continue this and no matter how bad it turns out please be considerate .. . ****_**Pamaxful thank you for the advice and I have read the Collage Daze by Don't Preach.. and yeah I LOVE IT very much...!**_******

**Please leave some review... **


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

"So Usagi-ani. How was Usagi-san as a child?"

He almost gag out his drink as I ask him this question. After I change and after a while of chitchatting niichan and I become accustom with him. I even start calling him Usagi-an for some reason it came to my mouth so smoothly. Even niichan call him in the same nickname (After all the two brothers love to give nickname). He has dark hair and and specs like niichan. His tall and well build and somehow they have similar presence as Usagi-san.

Superiority.

Definitely familiar to me.

He seem serious and scary at first and hard to converse but maybe because we make him quiet comfortable he become tactful. But, I dont know what makes him hard to answer my question.

His close lips tightens and his brows furrowed in deep thoughts.

"sorry ... forget about it." I nervously said. Niichan who seems so curious earlier begun apologizing too.

"Oh wait you said you worked at Usami Group right? Thats really a big company, how was it?" niichan change the topic quickly.

I give an approving node to his question and tried to smile earnestly as if I am interested in the topic too. Though I am certain that I dont know anything about business unlike niichan even if I study economics.

His specs shines as he start saying unfamiliar word to us. I watch them exchange words about business. Niichan seems to like Usagi-aniki. He keeps smiling and they both enjoy their conversation.

In my part I felt relief that even in our chaotic life, I'm glad that we can still keep our normal life. Like drinking tea and eating sweets here in living room with a guest.

Now that I think about it, we doesn't know about Usagi-san's family. Did he purposely keep it from us or its just Usagi-san forget to mention it to us, he even never mention he has older brother though, even niichan doesn't know until now... but still...

It's not that I feel upset for not knowing anything.

but if we really are lovers now...

Wouldn't it be natural to know more... I mean a lot 'more' about him?

"Misaki do you feel sick?" Niichan said.

Before I knew it, my face is burning and I'm blushing furiously. I still not used calling Usagi-san as my lover, even just thinking of it really makes me die in embarrassment.

"Do you have fever?" Usagi-ani asks with concern.

"I'm fine.. thank you" I really should start getting used to it. "Do you want more tea?" I ask as I glance his empty cup. Completely ignoring their concern.

He nod.

I start pouring his cup fore more tea with the porcelain tea kettle when loud bang of door scare the hell out me.

Usagi-san is out of breath.. Eyes rages in pure fury and his face frowns in great frustrations that I never seen before.

"GET OUT!"

All of us (Only Takahiro and Misak since Haruhiko expected this to happen) jumps in unison. Our eyes grew big in surprise...

If things are different I would definitely think that Usagi-ani is not really Usagi-ani. Though his eye shows anger, Usagi-san looks like he recognize him. I dont know if why he hate Usagi-ani but I think he hates him, at least that what he is showing to us.

Usagi-san seems calm as he regain his breathing, he stand straight and chest held out as showing how strong his territorial power. "GET OUT" He repeated, this time its not as loud as lion like before but the sternness and coldness in his voice shows how dangerous he may get any second.

Niichan and I went speechless and neither of us tried to move, I think we even stop breathing.

Usagi-ani gently set the tea cup in the coffee table while muttering his thanks for the treat. He slowly stand before he look Usagi-san straightly.

"Akihiko-"

"No"

"I come-"

"LEAVE NOW"

Usagi-san that harshly brushed off every words Usagi-ani said with no hesitation. Disappointment and hurt shows painted Usagi-ani's calm and compost face. His shoulder slump and he look defeated. Usagi-san grimace as he saw this as if this is something he never expects to see yet his looks shows he never regretted every words that he said nor trying to take it back.

I felt my heart tightens. I knew that Usagi-sanm once he says something as firmly as that nothing will change his decision.

I know just by watching them, they share the same brotherly love like what niichan and I shares. Even without blood ties. I dont know anything about Usagi-san family aside from they were rich. I didn't even bother asking, I knew I want to know but the feeling of causing him discomfort overtaken me.

So I didn't ask him so...

"Usagi-san?"

I want to know it from Usagi-ani. That way...

"Will you try hearing him out first?"

I could lessen his burden.

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter** 17**

Sitting in single chair in front of us. Leg crossed and cigarette in his mouth. Smoke that slowly decorate the tension after a minute of silence. Usagi-ani magnificently explain his situation in business like manner and somehow seeing this I could sense some great pride left after getting lost earlier.

"No"

Usagi-san confirm my hunch. Knowing Usagi-san, his glare and half listening attitude, I knew all Usagi-ani's efforts are fruitless.

The tension that torment us torn into heated silent war. Niichan who is still silent, looks so confuse and in the middle of breaking.

Usagi-ani doesn't show any emotion. He looks just as pissed as Usagi-san. I remain silent. I'm nervous and scared just watching the two brothers glaring. I could almost sense the end of the world just by watching them. I felt the urge to regret all I have said earlier. Its selfish for me to ask that to Usagi-san. He did plenty of things for me yet I brought another worries.

"Usagi why wont you let him stay here until he could find some place to stay in?" Niichan said breaking the last tension in the room,.

Eye brow switch, Usagi-sa he snort, "I could find him another place immediately" fishing his phone in his pocket he gave niichan one quick look.

"That's not necessary" Niichan retort back. Shaking his head for emphasis. " I will sleep here in the couch. He could sleep in-" he offered.

"**No one's sleeping in the couch**" Usagi-san grimly said making all the tiny hair of my skin stand.

Not startled a bit niichan straighten his back and raise his voice voice slightly. "Then we'll sleep in the same room" he adamantly fight back.

Slow as always... Its all too fast for me to understand but the faces that Usagi-san and Usagi-ani make shows great surprise. Its my first time I saw niichan and Usagi-san in an argument. Niichan who never raise his voice for no reason is what frighten me most. It make me think that this talk is not getting any better.

"Akihiko, we can't stay here knowing that your brother has no good place to stay, at least our karma wont take it"

Hurt by the sudden formality, niichan left Usagi-san speechless. Niichan's formality shows how serious he is. His face painted with hurt furiously turn in to range and blame is greatly emitted by his sharp amethyst orb as he glare at Usagi-aniki. As I remain silent, I found niichan's word reasonable. Somehow, I felt regret for showing my selfish side. It makes me think that the situation I have made is what makes the men upset.

As I bath with my own agony, there is one important thing that I failed to noticed.

Among the four men in the living room, one person felt pure astonishment for the person he only meet today. Like sunflower to sun, watching every motion and listening to every words niichan said, it seem that his eyes are already glued to niichan.

Usagi-san who regain his self stubbornly tried to reason..."Thats why I said I would find him a place to-" but he was cut short with niichan's heavy sigh.

"That's not what I mean, Akihiko your place is more than enough for four person and-"

Usagi-san continued.. "-and its for me to decide who will and will not stay in this house."

"**He** is your brother"

"I don't see him as one!"

...

Usagi-san's roaring voice eats all the niichan's guts to fight back. For niichan who never been yelled by Usagi-san this harsh its all been new to him.

Niichan remain silent with shock written all over his face. His mouth open and close then tightens as he look away. Both hand clenching and shoulder slump down in defeat.. The tiger beaten by a lion. Thats what niichan feels at this moment.

Usagi-ani's face turn unfathomable. His sharp glare gives dangerous atmosphere around him and same goes to Usagi-san who's face darkens with great irritation.

I think the battle is over and we were quickly losing.

Why wonder? his the great Usami Akihiko.

If only he has some weakness... does he even have one?

Nipping my bottom lip I felt a sudden rush of confidence when a smart thought strike me and boost up my dying hope.

Weakness.. when I think Usagi-san's weakness might be..

ME?

No. No. No. NO. NO.. NO!

Its impossible. I'm maybe just imagining things.. Sure thing that he loves me but that doesn't mean I'm his weakness after all, its completely imaginable.

Usagi-san gave up his pride for me.

Its utterly **impossible.**

Besides If Usagi-an and niichan will share a room, its only mean I need to share room with Usagi-san...

I shivers by the thought. The 'smart' idea is no more than a suicide. Maybe asking him would really be my last resort. My selfishness always and will only lead to such a mess. Usagi-san and niichan even yell to each other. The horrid past that these brothers kept hidden inside their thick shadows. The reasons for all the seethe and hostility that I have seen before my eyes. I just thought that maybe convincing Usagi-san would make things better for those two and better for me too?

"Okay"

Lifting my head up I look at the source of sound. Usagi-ani looks aspirated. Niichan brows arch up and Usagi-san... sigh in heavily as if his weighting a heavy decision but what makes me feel more uncomfortable since I am not really comfy to begin with is their heavy stares.. Curiosity push me to edge.

"Nani?" I ask.

"That settled it" niichan said feeling a bit victorious.

"Nande?" feeling as if I've done something crazy.

"That's it! I want all your things be transfer this instant and-" Usagi-san with a cigarette in his mouth and face darkening with unspent anger he mumble "-you-" glaring at Usagi-ani as sharp as knife "-in my study"

_What a disrespectful little brother! _

"**What do you mean transfer my things to your damn room**?" I shrieked, feeling all my hair stand. Weather if it is my volume or what I said, niichan stumble with surprise. Ignoring me completely, Usagi-ani and Usagi-san disappear from the room, leaving me and niichan.

"I guess you still have your habit of talking your thoughts out loud" niichan warmly said.

Speechless I look at niichan with fear. "What did I said?"

Niichan chuckled at his troubled little brother? "S-E-C-R-E-T"

I whined in protest.. Feeling teased and miserably scared of night to come.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Takahiro's POV<em> **

In the other side of the room. Separated by only a wall. The coldness inside the study vanished as the hellish aura from the two brothers inside reigning.

I look at the sturdy door of the study. Its soundproof and I know, things from now on will be more dangerous than ever.

* * *

><p><strong>Dont have time to re-read this. Since I dont hva a spelling checker I hope this might do.<strong>

**If your wondering why didn't Misaki takes his killer to heart its because he still does not feel it. The passion of fear of being hunted. All the problem in front of him makes him forget that his life is in danger., and also I think its also because of Usagi and Takahiro, he still feels safe... after all you cant fully understand death when your not feeling it slowly coming. **

**Belated Merry Christmas to all very happy new year to all. **

**Thanks to those who favs and alerts. Please those who read and care review.**


	18. Chapter 18

Note:

I'll stop in Chapter 17. I can't continue writing anymore. The reason is better not to be told. I am happy though., Writing it is fun. I feel really sad for leaving ff.

To those who still want to continue reading please feel assured, I am passing it to someone. He will PM you if you review for any questions. Please do not PM me anymore since I cant open my PC any longer.

I am very sorry.

**143yaoifangirl**

**Captain America**

**Aliisa-chan**

**Irok2hard**

**Laberithe**

**Junjou-angel**

**Katrinadianne**

**lovermix**

**Chibiseme97**

**dazzteddybear**

and to anyone that I failed to mention.. thank you for the reviews, alerts and favs.

Farewell.

Alovetokill


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